|Reviews for Access Denied|
| nocturneeclipse chapter 6 . 10/17/2008
Nice. Good job. I think you should look into maybe editing over your work though. Theres nothing wrong with it spelling wise, but maybe you should start looking at it with a critical eye. You don't have to though, I guess. This chapter was good, I liked it. There could have been more, but yes, it was good.
) I agree with Liz's anger somewhat, and udnerstand it.
But be cautious my friend, try not to jumble up your words. Sometimes I have a hard time catching up. But other than that, awesome job. I really enjoyed it.
| nocturneeclipse chapter 5 . 10/14/2008
you're getting really good at cliffhangers. I bet it's the black tall guy. THIS IS GONNA RAWK!
I can't wait to read the next chapter! Eesh, man this one was good. Love Mason and Michael so much. Liz is so cool...
I liek how real Michael's unsure attitude is. It's awesome. Just make sure he's not always the savior. Try and give Liz her own victories sometimes. Good luck!
| Lorelilly chapter 1 . 10/1/2008
Very good, I liked how you captured my interest. Your spelling could use some work, but I have that problem too, so its okay. I love the characters of Mason and Liz. I laughed out loud at Mason's jokes. Very mysterious and has me wondering what will happen next! Please post more!
| Kiririn A.K.A Rin chapter 4 . 9/29/2008
I wonder what would happen to Elizabeth.
Are they gonna have special powers? XD
| nocturneeclipse chapter 3 . 9/23/2008
I want MORE.
Kim this is so good. And I love your characters, completely loveable. You're an amazing writing for getting your audience to love your characters. That's a key point in writing.
Mason is hilarious, and I burst out laughing while reading this chapter. Bravo, awesome job! It's been ages sicne I've read a fition online that was this good. Keep writing, and may your ideas flow freely.
| Its.Not.Me.Its.You chapter 2 . 9/4/2008
love the story so far
cant wait for more
hope you update soon
| nocturneeclipse chapter 2 . 9/2/2008
Good good! I love Mason to pieces. I see you're having trouble capatilizing the 'i' a lot, but my guess is that you just didn't feel like fixing it. You are have difficulties with past and present writing, and it's annoying me *shakes with laughter*. But I think you did wonderfully with spelling. Mason is good, and your manner of speaking is awesome.
I know writer's block is hard, but if I were you, I'd stick to Mason. Think about him, because he's a good base. If I were you, I'd take Liz to try for one more job, but let Mason take her to try one out. Of course, they get turned down, and Liz has added pressure because Mason was there, but that's the point.
But so far, you've already instilled the job-less-ness she has, and that that man is following her.
Good job! I liked it. AND I think you should bring that Chinsese lady back at some point. Author's never introduce someone so formally unless they have a plan for that character. That woman can be a line of help. Think about it. Bye!
| Zoro the 22nd chapter 1 . 9/2/2008
Hi! Your work is fine though there's just a little problem on grammar. Keep up the good work. D
P.S. I hope that we'll be friends.
| nocturneeclipse chapter 1 . 8/30/2008
Hey hey! I read this because I haven't yet read that add-in. Very good spelling wise, except...I see small things, such as past tense and present meshing together. That should be avoided as much as possible. BUT I'm not here to critique you on your spelling.
Good good! I liked it a lot. You're a good writer, for a beginner. You'll really have to check out Steven sometime on Fanfiction, you only need to read a few-very long-sentences to see the difference. I hope he can find his calling though, he's an amazing guy. Enough about him though, you did a great job!
One last tip for your really short stories though. That other one you published, the really short one. I only say this to writers who cram their paragraphs together, but you're not exactly doing that. You're not doing anything wrong though...haha. The point is though, since it's such a small story, it's better to space it out, so the end doesn't come as clearly.
Just a tip, sorry for pushing that further.
I'm the Peptobismol for your stomach ache (after the spicy pepper) :P