Reviews for Oblivious
KrisA16 chapter 1 . 11/2/2011
Aw, so cute! Nice, short and not confusing ;p
applenica chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
so simple and to do the point. i like it. it's very very cute
balloonfista chapter 1 . 2/7/2011
Very cute :D

Ri
Brolinshipper chapter 1 . 12/18/2010
Amazing!
lovescutestories chapter 1 . 10/20/2010
Aw! So cute! And funny :)

You should write a background story to it! That would awesome! :)

Peace!
FLIPPER66 chapter 1 . 3/23/2010
SOMETHING LIKE THIS MUSTA GHAPPENED TO YOU AT ONE TIME SOUNDS AS THOUGH IT MIGHT HAVEW ACTUALLY HAPPENED. LOL
wiccaenvy101 chapter 1 . 8/4/2009
Very Nice, Pinkguppie

Look forward to reading more:P

r&r Believe in me

.. Please :D
ukrgrl chapter 1 . 11/10/2008
cute story :D
Pinkamoo chapter 1 . 10/10/2008
Tres cute my friend.

And no. Reviewing isn't hard.

Some people seem to think so x.x

Lovely job D
Lily Llynn chapter 1 . 10/5/2008
I think this would've been better as a dialogue-only oneshot, but the blurb at the end does make it even cuter/fluffier. (: Cliche, but done nicely. (: Yay to xoxluurve for adding this to our c2.
JulyPie chapter 1 . 10/5/2008
Cute! that was very awesome.
White Rose Blossom chapter 1 . 10/3/2008
utterly adorable :)

-Aria
anon chapter 1 . 10/3/2008
First, the concept is cute. However, even with a oneshot, it could be improved if you fleshed out the dialogue, making the characters believable. Because you're relying on dialogue, that doesn't mean that you have to tell the audience everything - often being subtle and reading between the lines is more effective.

You talk about the dialogue being confusing - but give your readers some credit. They don't need italics or underlining to realise who's talking; they can follow a conversation. It's just lazy.

You don't need so many exclamation marks! Your dialogue should convey the majority of the emotion making them unnecessary. And when you use them, don't use two.

Please don't think I'm trying to be nasty; this is constructive criticism to help you improve. Having posted so many stories at once I get the impression that you've rushed them rather than putting lots of effort into, and refining, your work. One shots can be just as effective as multi-chapter stories, but only if you polish and rewrite. Often it's harder to use fewer words than more.

Cheers, xx
x3life chapter 1 . 10/2/2008
aw )
toffeecakesxox chapter 1 . 9/21/2008
Aw, that was so cute! I love it! It's the other way around: instead of the guys' obliviousness, it's the girl. OH SO CUTE!

Strawberry xx
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