|Reviews for Strength in Fragility|
| Ernest Bloom chapter 1 . 9/13/2008
this has pretty good immediacy; something makes it feel very real. maybe it's all in the 3rd line; somehow it puts me there sure as beside ill-starred belinda at her glorious toilet in "the rape of the lock." again i say to you, now with different emphasis, rhymezone dot com can make a bad rhymer good, and a good rhymer (like you) great. try it.
and again i think your rhymes distracted you or held you back slightly from your story, so that some of the details grew doubtful. for example, is it physiologically possible to cry while one's asleep, or does the rhyme encourage a dubious physiology? now i'll pick nits, but i know that guitars sometimes gently weep, and so do people, but i think eyes shed tears.
and yet, once more, when all's said: good work.
| a certain slant of light chapter 1 . 8/31/2008
Love your rhyming. Lines four and seven are my favorites. I love it.