|Reviews for Tiredness|
| Isca chapter 1 . 11/25/2008
"But no increase in production." I liked how that connected to the opening line, but it put such a unique twist on it.
The first line of the second stanza felt a bit awkward to me. I think it was because of 'to' in 'to life.' Maybe it should be 'in life'? Just a thought :).
"The clock tick by and the room shutters." WOW! The room shutters...that's INCREDIBLE imagery!
I really enjoyed reading this!
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 9/6/2008
I really like that description in the end about the chair, that was a great way to describe it. That last line is so serious, which gives the poem a different spin than the rest of it. Nicely done.
| Ernest Bloom chapter 1 . 9/1/2008
just like me when i
get home after working
overnight & fall asleep
in front of computer...i
can definitely relate.
wonder if you might consider
more uniform line lengths in