Reviews for Tiredness
Isca chapter 1 . 11/25/2008
"But no increase in production." I liked how that connected to the opening line, but it put such a unique twist on it.

The first line of the second stanza felt a bit awkward to me. I think it was because of 'to' in 'to life.' Maybe it should be 'in life'? Just a thought :).

"The clock tick by and the room shutters." WOW! The room shutters...that's INCREDIBLE imagery!

I really enjoyed reading this!

-Isca
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 9/6/2008
I really like that description in the end about the chair, that was a great way to describe it. That last line is so serious, which gives the poem a different spin than the rest of it. Nicely done.
Ernest Bloom chapter 1 . 9/1/2008
yeah, sounds

just like me when i

get home after working

overnight & fall asleep

in front of computer...i

can definitely relate.

wonder if you might consider

more uniform line lengths in

2nd stanza.