Reviews for A Second In Time
writerjamie chapter 1 . 2/5/2010
A powerful work. It's deceptively simple until read for rhythm, then I have a suggestion: all your lines (as I read them) have nine syllables except the last. what if instead of "journey" the word were "task"? You might use "accomplished" instead of "completed".

It doesn't really need the last line, does it? but it reminds me of the way the minister closed one part of the service by saying "Thus endeth the reading." if you could use seven syllables, what if it were "endeth" instead of "ends"? I have to draw out the "o" in that line slightly to make the meter, but does it work for you?
Unknown Survivor chapter 1 . 9/3/2008
Interesting format. Nice job on this. (:

~Unknown Survivor~