Reviews for Slave |
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![]() ![]() loved, loved, LOVED this chapter! i'm so happy that we get to see more dialogue between these two, because it helps with character development, and lets us get a deeper understanding of them and their relationship. you definitely answered a lot of my burning questions. plus, i agree with Olivia, that TV was REALLY cool haha :D |
![]() ![]() hey! i liked this chapter a lot. i think it was a good insight into Olivia's mind about her current situation that we definitely needed. i agree with you, this chapter was a little on the short side, but obviously, school comes first. can't wait for the next one! |
![]() ![]() ok, it's official - Demona is BY FAR my favorite character! i love how intuitive and funny she is, and Olivia's right, it will be nice for her to have another girl in the house. also, it was funny to see Demona and Damon fight over the food haha. as always, keep us posted with your amazing work! |
![]() ![]() NOOOOO! i just read your caption and PLEASE don't finish up the story! i'm too invested in it now, i never want it to end! also i'm sorry you've been sick :( i loved this chapter's plot! there were a lot of twists and turns that i really enjoyed figuring out. and yes, it was a good length :) i am getting curious about Demona, and if she has a deeper connection to Devin and Damon than just siblings; maybe there's more to explore there... |
![]() ![]() woahhhhhh. things got intense in this one! it was interesting to see how everyone's costumes reflected them, especially Andrea's haha. (she's really getting on my nerves - grrrr) and then with Olivia collapsing?! i'm practically on the edge of my seat! i can't wait to see what happens next! also, about the chapter length, i don't really mind - long or short, they're always amazing! |
![]() ![]() AHHHHHHHH! this was by FAR the best chapter. first of all, awwwwwww. Damon and Olivia (HAVE to think of a ship name btw) are SO cute! i love how protective he is of her :D and the costume? chef's kiss. this chapter was the perfect combination of steamy/sexy and SO CUTE IT MAKES YOUR HEART HURT! PLEASE continue this story (also i didn't mind the amount of conversation at all - in fact, i enjoyed it, especially the banter between Damon and Olivia hehe) |
![]() ![]() omg! so much happened in such a short time in here! although i'm not complaining: i LOVED the plot twist in this chapter. although i'm starting to wonder what damon will do once devin finally reveals his ulterior motives... |
![]() ![]() hey! i loved this chapter - it was my favorite one yet hehe. i love this story so much, and i'm very invested. i love the plot and character developement, and how the brothers always keep us guessing ;) also i'm sorry i haven't given you any reviews until now: i just figured out how lol. anyway, keep up the amazing work! |
![]() ![]() This is a great story I hope you make a novel out of this story but as I know it you have not updated you profile so you might not make a part 2 of this novel like 30 chapter story. Read it all. |
![]() ![]() I want to know why are you not making a book from this amazing story |
![]() ![]() why is it taking so long to start fucking her? |
![]() ![]() you need more exposition and less dialog, not just in this chapter but in all that i've read. There is so little character development. After four chapters, I don't know much about the way these people think, feel, or deal with issues. What do they want, what is the hero trying to achieve. The story has possibilities, but the presentation is vapid and shallow. I don't intend to read more. Don't be discouraged, I'm sure that by the time you reach your sixteenth birthday you will have figured out how to develop a story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() So... will this be finished, or is this story on permanent hold? If it is, bummer that because I find myself wanting to know how it ends. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I started reading this story back when you would post on The-n. It's like 10 years later and I love it just the same. Girl I just needs to know how it ends! lol |
![]() ![]() I love this |