Reviews for Slave |
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![]() ![]() This is a great story I hope you make a novel out of this story but as I know it you have not updated you profile so you might not make a part 2 of this novel like 30 chapter story. Read it all. |
![]() ![]() I want to know why are you not making a book from this amazing story |
![]() ![]() why is it taking so long to start fucking her? |
![]() ![]() you need more exposition and less dialog, not just in this chapter but in all that i've read. There is so little character development. After four chapters, I don't know much about the way these people think, feel, or deal with issues. What do they want, what is the hero trying to achieve. The story has possibilities, but the presentation is vapid and shallow. I don't intend to read more. Don't be discouraged, I'm sure that by the time you reach your sixteenth birthday you will have figured out how to develop a story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() So... will this be finished, or is this story on permanent hold? If it is, bummer that because I find myself wanting to know how it ends. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I started reading this story back when you would post on The-n. It's like 10 years later and I love it just the same. Girl I just needs to know how it ends! lol |
![]() ![]() I love this |
![]() ![]() You mispelled so many words you lunatic! |
![]() ![]() I hope you do write more on this story I enjoyed this story so please write more I am interested in knowing the reason people are shocked for Damien taking Olivia to the Beach and want to know if this relationship last or does Damien now after awhile dope her because the excitement of hiding their relationship is not fun for him right now I read that it isn't but it could later that his dad has excepted him for getting feelings for Olivia instead of telling him to treat her like a slut. |
![]() ![]() Great chapter did a lot better u keep on improving and it shows |
![]() ![]() I cannot stop reading! your good at giving little bits and peices of something mysterious... there is a lot of sleeping though... It makes sense but its different from what i have read before. I really like your story! |
![]() ![]() more I want to know more ad watch your spellings but good story |
![]() ![]() Glad you updated! I'm excited to read your next chapter :) |
![]() ![]() brothers have to be at least 9 months apart. just saying. its really good so far though |
![]() ![]() ![]() Please finish! I am so addicted! |