|Reviews for Slave|
| futureauthor852 chapter 2 . 9/19/2008
awesome chapter and now she has arrived, update soon!...~aNgELa~
| Tzotel431 chapter 1 . 9/14/2008
Yay! I loved this story the first time. Hurry up and add another chapter!
| Whyler chapter 1 . 9/10/2008
Hey! Your story is really good, keep up the good work!
| Thai Libre chapter 1 . 9/7/2008
Yay! It's back up! I can't wait to read it again. Keep Writing!
| Elegantly Lovelyy chapter 1 . 9/6/2008
omg im so happy now lol im glad this story is baq
| AK the Twilight chapter 1 . 9/4/2008
As far as the story's structure goes, this possessed a degree of ambiance and tantalizing storytelling. The cliffhanger ending was a nice pick, though I did find a lot of the things you explained to be blunt and too spontaneous. Also, remember to describe more. The story's plotline felt rushed. These events just seemed to occur without much explanation. Though I do understand that this is early in the story, you lacked imagery. Add some descriptions and the entire chapter could rise up with some stronger visualizations.
Overall, though, you presented the story fluidly, albeit abruptly. This has potential; keep up the good work.