|Reviews for The Puppet|
| A Scarlet Raven chapter 1 . 10/8/2008
i have a poem just like this. simply titled "puppet' however it is and old piece and is not on my page.
| Wolf Wonderer chapter 1 . 10/4/2008
You say stings once in each stanza. Is this intentional or did you mean strings? Strings seems to go a little more with the puppet title reference.
Other than that, I think this was awesome. The last line is kind of on the hating love side, but the best love poems are. ;)
| Caecilia chapter 1 . 9/24/2008
So, you have some punctuation [one comma and one period] but then no more. I think you should choose if you want to go with punctuation or not. If you decide not to go with it, I would suggest making [i will feel loved] into it's own line.
Also, I noticed there's no capitalization. Is that part of the style you use, or did you just not feel like capitalizing? Because nothing is capitalized, so I assume it's intentional/wanted.
Anyways, enough of my nitpicking, really good writing you have here. I think there's some things that you could to to make this piece a bit stronger, but, it's really good where it is right now.
Depressing concept, though. Good Writing!
Caecilia, the Roadhouse
| rolliepollie44 chapter 1 . 9/20/2008
That was beyond words. It was amazing how you expressed the idea of the poem in such a vivid and amazing way. I love the line 'i'll be shoved back into my case' but really i just love the whole peice. Nice work!
| dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 9/9/2008
Okay, the first thing that caught my eye while reading this was that you used some punctuation, but didn't carry it out fully. I reccomend keeping it consistant; either stay with it or drop it.
But now that that's out of the way, I would like to say that I really liked this. It was interesting how you brought attention to the line "no questions asked" by making it shorter. It highlights the utter devotion the narrator has.
I also like how you only mentioned the word "puppet" in the first line, and after that described the concept solely through description. It kept the piece interesting and avoided redundancy completely.
Personally, I think the last two lines should be their own stanza. The idea is different than the other lines in the stanza, and they would have more of a lasting impression if they stood alone. That's just my opinion, though.
Like I said, very nice piece. Just take a look at the punctuation and this is really great :)
| DefineBeauty chapter 1 . 9/9/2008
aw...that makes me sad ( which is a good thing because it means it is well written! lol
i like the way you portray...well a couple different things really. they way people use others and the way people are willingly used because of love.
it's a great poem and i love it!
nice work ]
| DiaRose chapter 1 . 9/8/2008
Beautiful analogy, darling! Really good idea, beyond good. You could make the wording prettier but it seems like your writing could just use a little seasoning is all. I love it!
| Phoenix Star Bird chapter 1 . 9/8/2008
This is very deep and I liked it. It is really nice how you protayed the feeling of having to do so much to be loved that you don't feel loved for you.