Don't worry about the format. It was a little annoying at first, but nothing that I couldn't get past. The format becomes a minor detail because this poem is honestly that damn good. The detail and emotion you poured into this are very genuine, and it shows in your words. This is fantastic; great job.

That was amazing. I liked the subtlety, and the poem made me a little sad. You mangaed to convey your mood, your feelings, and your life in about a page. I am impressed.

... okay, wow.

I'm overwhelmed by this is the best possible way.

I loved the subtle rhymes.

there is a pillar of salt in my bed where my body used to be

"i fought and i fought and i fought and i kept going but nobody had told me i lost."

the creatively-inclined may paint or sing but i tear myself to pieces

Amazing lines.

This is brilliant.

there is a pillar of salt in my bed where my body used to be

I like that image, its phrased really well.

Something about the piece doesn't sit right with me, but after reading it a second time I actually think that it's the defensive tone that just gets louder as the piece progresses. I'm tryin to get away from that kind of stuff so its a little uncomfortable to have it glaring at me on a computer screen, but that just kind of shows how effectively the piece is written, if that makes any sense.

No a good good write, its a real test to write something unsympathetic. This shall henceforth be known as your premiere Bette Davis poem

"there is a pillar of salt in my bed where my body used to be." Favorite part. This poem really has the feel of your style to it, I love all the original metaphors you use and how they fit the mood. It's a very sad poem, but a well-done one. And even though you apologized for it, I personally liked the formatting. It's easy to read, and the uneven line lengths work for the piece. Knowing ficpress's way of ignoring spacing, this might have looked completely different than it was originally intended to, but it certainly doesn't stand out as having anything wrong with it.

The title is wonderful.

i love when the she says "i fought and i fought and i fought and i kept going but nobody had told me i lost." there's something about that line that brings the poem to life.