Reviews for Fire and Ice
Tuft of Fluff chapter 1 . 9/22/2008
Good job on the rhyming; it seemed so efortless. I loved the last stanza too, because it wrapped everything up perfectly.
Beluga1 chapter 1 . 9/17/2008
this is incredible, i love it
Caecilia chapter 1 . 9/16/2008
Wow. I really liked this.

When I first started it, I wasn't so sure about it, because the opening line sounds well, pretty cliched. But then once I got to the second paragraph? I was hooked!

Love the way you wrote Fire and Ice as lovers. Never seen it written this way before.

[The other ones kiss] [ones] should be [one's]

Great writing. Amazing stuff.

Caecilia, down at the Roadhouse
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 9/14/2008
I simply adore this poem. It is beautifully written!

First off, I love your rhyme scheme. It is beautiful and feels natural.

I also like your repitition, particularly in the first and last stanzas, because it neatly ties this all together.

[The other ones kiss] Should be "one's."

[No-longer they'll wait/The end will be next . . . No-longer is waiting/The end has come now] I like these lines because the progression creates a sort of plot to this.

The only thing that I didn't like was the format. The lines across the page are an eyesore.

Amazing work!
Charactarantula chapter 1 . 9/12/2008
Holy Hell. Summer Frost, this offically goes down as my absolute favorite poem on fictionpress thus far. You get a favorite author and a favorite story, and I don't just give those out.

First off, it rhymed, which is always a huge plus in my book. Next, I haven't ever heard the Fire and Ice comparisson in a poem, but that's cause I don't normally read poetry. I thought that all of the imagery used with that idea was amazing. Especially this line: "Love last forever/Hate lingers too/Spicy hot winters/Cold summer blues."

Very good work, my friend. I'll be reading more of your stuff.

Cheers,

Jake (down the roadhouse)
painted eyes chapter 1 . 9/12/2008
Oh, this piece is interesting! It makes me think of a witch saying an curse or a dark story, which is interesting as the sentences have very few words!

I like the last line, really concluded the poem well. I like how you illustrated fire and ice as lovers, well more than lovers 'souls' as you wrote.

Anyways, keep up the good work!

painted (courtesy of The Roadhouse)
Aiko-Moon chapter 1 . 9/12/2008
i found myself actually liking this poem

good job
ivyfurl chapter 1 . 9/11/2008
Oh, thats cool! I loved this!
Eagle Seance chapter 1 . 9/11/2008
Some of them didn't seem to make sense, but sounded cool anyway, because of the rhythm. I really liked the verse about frozen emotion though.
Shadow Slayer 13 chapter 1 . 9/10/2008
hey this is shadow slayer 13. umm, what r the details on the story? and thanks for being my first review! if you kno anyone else who might like to read a pirate story or sonnet, please metion me. i joined this site to see what people would say about my writing because i kno my friends and family arent gunna say my writing terrible... so im trying to see what people who dont kno me say. thanks again!
daughterofmusic chapter 1 . 9/10/2008
...I love it. End of story.

Music
Sister Kitty chapter 1 . 9/10/2008
wellz...you asked me to review a poem and i am..

just to let you kno i hated it...

naw im just kidding ya silly willy..

it was really good.

I really loved this stanza...

Hot is the sun

Cold is the moon

Fire and Ice

Together are doomed

... but yea..great poem
a.breathing.spot chapter 1 . 9/10/2008
Much better than dust i must say

very well written
Ernest Bloom chapter 1 . 9/10/2008
Well, in poetry, or any kind of writing, I like sensations, images, characters, and something approaching a story, or at least motion through a landscape. I don't really like seeking something "profound" through paradoxes of opposites. That always seems a little phony to me, or trying too hard to be clever.

Stza 2: She melts all TOO soon. Also, the rhyme scheme here is different than in every other stanza.

Stza 3: Love is the hate/Life is the death. This is about as much of an irritation as this kind of thing can be, like a sharp splinter you can't locate and dig out of your skin. Not only is love not hate and life not death, but the juxtapositon suggests no purpose.

Stza 6: None of this makes any sense or has any sensation or image at all. Maybe one-eighty degrees might...but probably not.

Stza 7: The other ones kiss: requires the possessive: ONE'S; Now that its over requires apostrophe: IT'S

Stza 8: Should be Love LASTS forever, or LOVES last forever

Stza 10: Always together/Always alone. Don't you really mean always together even when alone?

Well, you do have a pair of characters here who are trying to interact, so that's something. It would help if you allowed us to see them, to feel what they feel, not just to symbolize it in diametrically opposed opposites.

I'm puzzled by:

Frozen emotion

Shivering glares

It has been spoken

Never this pair

Anger is blazing

They never asked how

No-longer is waiting

The end has come now

I wonder what force (or whom) has intervened to prevent this pairing. This seems to be the drama at the heart of your story, but I don't know the story behind it.

Unlike your other reviewers, I rather liked the echo between the first and last stanzas. Of course in the last stanza with "Fire and Ice" you justify all the paradoxes. Without these two bookends, it would not work so well as it does.

Luck.
ziva-in-the-rain chapter 1 . 9/9/2008
Nice job, I really like it :]
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