Nisha seems interesting. And you did a good job showing us more sides of her personality. I like this chapter )

I realize this is on hiatus, but it looked interesting so I decided to take a look, anyway.

This was definitely a little short - maybe make it a little longer when you revise so we can get inside your characters' heads more. It was cute, though. Poor Ashe (

I'm sad to hear that you won't be writing this story anymore but as long as you post some equally awesome stories when your writer's block (which sucks I know) I'll forgive you. :)

Yeah, I can understand your feelings on this, too. And I also agree-your more recent stuff has shown more writing skill.

Well, hopefully someday, you'll have more time to give more attention to your stories, the kind of attention that they deserve.

Peace, ~Dark Rose

Ohmigod, I love this! Update soon!

I thought the interaction between Ashe and Nisha's friends were interesting. We get to see how he fits within the group.

You had a couple grammar mistakes.

“Nisha wanted to make sure weren't sitting here forever." There should be a you between sure and weren't.

"I got it! Sois. It would be je sois. HA!”" It should be "suis." I find it extremely weird that a junior who is presumably at least in her third year of French is having trouble remembering that particular conjugation because it's used pretty frequently especially in the passe compose of certain words. It doesn't seem realstic.

I hope you develop Nisha more. As of right now, she seems too perfect.

Another interesting chapter. I like the introduction of the new character.

I think you should shy away from labeling the kids based on the clothes they wear. I know that abercrombie has the stereotype of rich kids who don't work but I find that not to be true. At my school, even though there's wearers who do fit the mold you describe, theres also those who are smart, hardworking, and good kids. I think you're lumping them in too much rather which can come off as kind of superficial.

Hmm I hope that Ashe explains himself in the next chapter.

I also hope that Damien calms down.

Onto the next chapter!

I think this chapter had nice developement of the plot.

In the last chapter, I was afraid that this was going to happen but since it was written from Ashe's point of view, I kept mum. I'm kind of worried about the Nisha character. I'm afraid that she's going to be a Mary Sue. As of right now, everything I know about her is this: she's AMAZINGLY gorgeous, smart, nice, humble, athletic, ambitious, etc. All positive attributes and I haven't been introduced to the negative. Even something about her being impatient would be nice.

I thought the ending where she was upset about how she treated Damien was kind of random and unrealistic. I have no idea what brought that about.

I think this story is off to a very promising start. I liked the description of her in the beginning. I could imagine how the gorgeous girl had a strip of purple hair which is pretty unusual. It used well to visually represent that she was different.

Jealous best friend much? Haha

How do you pronounce Ashe? Is it just Ash like the stuff in a fireplace?

I hope we get to find out more about Nisha later.

Gracia/Merci/Thank you for reviewing me! I will never be able to say it enough.

D Poor Ashe. All left out and... :( I wanna hug him!

Awesome chapter! Update soon, big sis!

-Kristy

I found one barely-there mistake: Ashe glanced at Ashe and Ron, whose whispering was getting more and more heated.

Isn't 2nd-Ashe supposed to be Damien (I love all their names, by the way!)

Otherwise, awesome chapter. I really like Jenna's character (and her name!)

:D

-Kristy

YES! Chocolate chip cookies! :D Anyways, I really like Nisha's and Damien's relationship. :P And the fact that she went off on random tangents about pineapples and such made me giggle like CUHRAZY!

-Kristy

I can't believe I haven't read this yet; I mean I've been talking to your a few days now. Augh! Must read. Must read.

-Kristy

Yes! Something happening that doesn't automatically involve the MC! Hooray! Man, this story is amazing! Can't wait for the next chapter!

E! I absolutely ADORE this story! Way to break the mould!

Lawl I had Gatorade down my back once; not nice.

~Rawking on and out, Lexodus~