Reviews for Power
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 9/14/2008
I like the last line because the feeling of hopelessness leaves a strong, lasting impression on the reader.

I didn't like the second through fourth lines of the second stanza. I don't even know if this was intentional, but they were the only lines that rhymed in the poem, and the inconsistancy was distracting.

~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
half-sketched.staccatos chapter 1 . 9/13/2008
konban wa

Wow, I wish you'd continue with this, go deeper and into more detail. When this ended, I craved more.

The only part that bothered me was the fact that you started most parts with "and." It seemed useless and I didn't like it so much. It would be more powerful, I think, without that.

Ha det

-Shan-