Hmm, some anger in this one. Expected, I suppose. Though I'm not sure exactly what's going on. I suppose it's more for you than us, though. Sometimes poetry is like that. The last two lines are pretty great, though. Keep writing! :)

"traipse through schools we/never went to" - this line painted a picture so vivid and colorful, it felt like a distant memory.

i don't understand why you put ; before "you really gotta stop", but it kind of works.

it would have worked without them, too.

but creative license, and all.

i really liked this one.

i love the last two lines.

it's so powerful, so profound.

that something can be a bit skewed,

but still wonderful because you were smiling.

that's beautiful.

"and we knew."

it was so powerful that it didn't need any more elaboration. i knew, too.

clever.

the last line is perfect.

it perfectly ties everything together.

this is incredible.

it inspires me.

makes me wish i had written this.

and it's just so goddamn easy to relate to.

I think you have a typo on the 3rd line of the 2nd stanza... Shouldn't it be "it looks like daylight, you guys,"? Otherwise that's grammatically weird.

Anyway, it's still lovely. Keep writing his one, because I'm pretty sure it's my favorite.

Ella

Oh my goodness, the last two lines of this are just gorgeous. The whole poem is really fantastic. Wow. The whole thing just has this great feeling about it. I don't know how to really describe it - just this awe, this young naivete that's so wonderful to read. Ah. I love it. Keep writing! :)

child child child i'm not

supposed to tell you this cos it's

like a cult secret and what happens is

18 is like the magical age of

responsibility and stuff but high school

is a walk in the park but if you're lucky

enough you will come to see that all life

is really a jazz performance that you

improvise every instant on the spot

and the world's full of liars and

fools and you don't want to be like

them but have class and style and talent

and never tell a lie and don't play around

doors.

Will you never stop amazing me?

People always mispronounce my name. Although "Kayleigh" is kinda hard for French people, I've got to admit. (Yup, you have a French reader IN France. ) ) They see it written that way and feel obligated to pronounce every letter... "What do you mean it's pronounced 'Kay-lee'? There's a 'g' and an 'h'."

Oh, and you forgot the letter r in "trois".

"bass heartbeats/strung out on midnight adrenaline"

Seriously: how do you come up with this stuff? You know what, those two lines are going onto my green folder. I've written a lot of my favorite quotes or funny one-liners on it. And this is just...beautiful. Beautiful choice of words, wonderful way of putting them together.

Brilliant poetry.

When I start reading each new poem I have NO idea where you're going with it, but then you leave me amazed at the end, with your perfect closing lines.

"You see, I think that you don't need these

vocabulary tests because

you can all speak so eloquently.

But only if it's been said before.

(And doesn't that just sting your cheeks?)"

Simply perfect.