|Reviews for Do You Know What I Am?|
| Silencia chapter 3 . 2/12/2010
XD lolz at the ending of this chapter, but isn't it all going a bit too fast?
| Silencia chapter 1 . 2/12/2010
not what I expected... but still very good
| An Inside Joke chapter 1 . 12/2/2008
Great opening. I like the reveal. I'd have liked more detail about who Sasha is and what she's like, but intriguing opening.
| Dreams of death by Chocolat chapter 3 . 11/28/2008
Well I didn't see any spelling errors so it looks good. I like how the story is going though, very interesting. The characters seem to be coming along nicely, I really like Sasha, she seems to be most interesting. Well that's all for now. TTFN.
| Dreams of death by Chocolat chapter 2 . 11/28/2008
There a couple spelling errors but again nothing too significant else where. I do however find the marrage thing quite interesting, I'm guessing that it is essential to the plot. The characters seem interesting. That's about it for this chapter.
| Dreams of death by Chocolat chapter 1 . 11/28/2008
So there's one spelling error in this chapter that I can find,
where it says, ...and slipped out silentle... silentle should be silently.
Other than that the rest looks good, I like it and the way you described how she got the wings is very nice.
| Rynx-too-genki chapter 2 . 9/29/2008
OMG. She's getting married at 18! O.o; lol! Its so random! I can't believe she agreed!
Ou es le... Delaware? (Is that a country?)
| Wynterra chapter 1 . 9/28/2008
This is written like a prologue, though I'm not sure that you meant it that way. You need to use spell-check ( I can never remember if that is on or two words...I see it spelled at least three different ways.) Try to avoid the use of "and then" like you would avoid getting the Plauge or poisoned: not only is it Grammatically incorrect and rather sloppy but it also reads like an elementary student's work. Though I do know that sometimes it is very hard to not use "and then."
| Wynterra chapter 2 . 9/28/2008
This chapter needs a lot of clean up. You need to work on developing everything. If you have a lot of dialogue-as this chapter does-than describe vocal inflections, facial changes, mood fluctuations...things like that. It makes your characters more "real." Speaking of which, Sasha's reaction-or lack of reaction-is highly unrealistic; your readers want to connect with your characters, which is hard to do if the characters don't seem real and/or "alive" to the readers. You have a good thing going, just needs work...which can be said for every author.
Oh, by the way, I'll be keeping my eye on this.
| Mockingbyrd's Tune chapter 1 . 9/18/2008
After reading a few of your pieces, I'm convinced you like to jump into the action without much introduction. This can be beneficial at times; but it doesn't help your readers relate to your characters, especially in one-shots.
Will you continue this one, or is the idea of the "Winged" spent? I would definitely love more explanation.
"slipped out silentle" - silently.
"Sasha shoved down the light, giddy feeling that was rising in her" Good description and helps your reader empathize.
"winced at the pain" Don't you think this phrase is a bit overused? When I read it, I felt the lack of true anguish expressed in having a tender wound.
"There was a strange numbness all over her body from waist down" I thought she was paralyzed after reading this; did you mean to give that impression? Obviously, she walks into the hall in the next sentence. You may wish to explain this numbness to keep it from giving a reader an awkward impression, and aid in the understanding of what Sasha is feeling.
Keep writing - M.T.
| Rynx-too-genki chapter 1 . 9/18/2008
C'est tres bien! xD! (Uses crappy french again!) Its a little cliche, sounds a bit like maximum ride. But it sounds like its a nice story! Can't tell much because the beginnings so short.