You're amazing. I'm so sorry - I haven't read in quite a while because I've just been so busy... but I caught up today and I love every bit of it!

Keep it up. :)

Molly

x

really interesting start

Trent is a quirky character xD

i just found this story. and i'm liking it.

it's starting to get a little repetitive for me. but i like where it's going. i wish there was a little more dialogue between shane and adelia. get to know them a little better besides adelia's observations. update soon!

Gosh darn Adelia for her accident prone ways.. Ah, the tension, I feel it. I can only hope she gets through all her emotions.

Jackson's a little more sympathetic here, it seems. :) The dynamic that seems ready to start up with Adelia, Shane and Jackson will be interesting to follow. :)

(Poor Shane, though. Wonder if he jumped the gun.)

Hmm - since it's a while since I read the other seven chapters I have to say it's a little harder to connect to your characters at the moment. That's all right; the groove will be back soon enough I'm sure. :)

Aw. Adelia making a faux pas at the game :( Shane's a really good sport about it though. I imagine it'll come up again, no doubt?

And you do cliffhangers well. :D

Some nitpicks - I've noticed you don't use contractions where one might reasonably see them ("was not" in place of "wasn't", as one example) and I saw one or two mistakes such as a verb tense being wrong ("I reach" instead of "I reached").

Otherwise, excellent WIP you've got going. *anticipates new chapter*

Jackson's pretty good at worming his way back in, eh? *stabitty-stab*

(What can I say? He seems to have been a pretty class-A jerk who caused Adelia a lot of pain, and he seems to not be acknowledging that too well.)

Jackson is now officially evil. *stabs*

Well, ok, he's evil because he's disrupting Adelia's existence with unsettling thoughts. :P

Oh my! You certainly know how to weave awkward situations and their resolution into the same chapter. :P

(Or at least their momentary departure from the main character's consciousness.)

I'm hoping that Shane will remain Adelia's boyfriend and not face competition from Jackson. We'll see, eh? :)

Having seen and liked your other fic, I'm now reading this one, and I have to say, I like your believable characters and the easy humor that exists between Trent and Adelia. :)

love it

Very nice chapter. I'm pretty sure I know who that voice belongs to.

There is a grammer mistake that just bugged me. It's the beginning of the fourth section. You write, ""I feel like I'm breaking an entering."" The "an" should be an and. You also do it again in the fourth line. I just wanted to let you know.

Also, I don't want to sound mean or anything but at the end, where Adelia falls of the chair I don't like the sentence, "As I felt myself finally fall backwards, I prepared myself for the inevitable pain of slamming into the wood flooring, but it never came. Instead..." The only thing that bothers me is the "but it never came" part. Many writers on this site use it. They also say "a pair of arms wrapped tightly around my waist" which you do. They're a bit overused. That doesn't mean you have to change it. I just wanted to give you something to think about. If I'm unclear about my meaning, let me know.

The pace is running along smoothly. :]

Every chapter makes me wonder, "What's next?"

Great job.

Oh, cliffhanger. I'm hooked. Cute and quirky. Fun characters. Enjoyable read.

nicely done :)