Reviews for Fallen Angel
Elena Sorales chapter 1 . 10/15/2010
Like it! It seemed interesting ;). You should continue!
esthaelum chapter 1 . 3/4/2010
This was a really nice short story! I love the way you descrbed his feelings and his actions, you use really nice imagery and metaphors!

Your writing style flows in a nice way and I found no mistakes, aside from some missing punctuation such as commas, but they weren't too distracting.

Good work!
Darksmiter chapter 1 . 9/8/2009
I had always view angels as beauty and virtue incarnate. This piece of writing changes that view, turn it inside out, and plop it onto the floor, bleeding and dying. And, I must admit, it is beautifully and graphically done.

The words you used had all be well thought of and conveyed the picture in a surreal way, slowing the action by elongating the words. The example of what I mean is how you can really feel the nasal bone collapsing and slowly thrust up his skull. Your almost scientific language lacks the dramatic approach of most novels, but it somehow left me gritting my teeth when I read the bit with the crunched nose. I like that. I also loved the way how the Angel made slight utterances of pain or terror, showing that he is not merely a rag doll under some author's manipulation. It shows that he feels and agonizes, making us sympathize him all the more.

On the whole, this chilling and macabre piece of art (yes, it is an art) is splendidly conveyed, but I must say myself that I did not truly grasped at the meaning. It left the reader confused and pitying the angel with all his heart and soul. My best guess is that this is the portrayal of someone who had always led a virtuous life that ended up committing a wicked sin of adultery (suggested by the mentioning of 'her' in the bedroom). This gory depiction is the guilt he is experiencing as he sank down the bowels of depravity.

That's my best guess. Please do PM me to see whether I'm right or wrong.
gotmilk8 chapter 1 . 8/30/2009
Wow. This was amazing . . . It was so vivid! So . . . strange. But a good strange. :)
Decoris Verbum chapter 1 . 7/23/2009
Woah...this was quite gory. I mean, even if the material itself wouldn't have been as graphic, they way you described it and the light you shed on it certianly would have done the job. That was cool. My only nag is that the writing seems a bit too formal, like you just state what you want to say in different clause forms rather than weave an intricate web of words. It's not a terrible thing, just something to take notice of.
rust phoenix chapter 1 . 7/8/2009
First off, thank you for the reviews. I enjoyed hearing your interpretations, and they were quite accurate to what I was aiming for.

Interesting piece. You have a good vocabulary, and your word choice is effective for conveying vivid imagery. There were a few points where it was slightly clunky ("revealed a... revelation"), but that was probably just a small thing that got overlooked while proofreading. One thing that bothered me slightly was that there seemed to be quite a distance between the narration and the character. I know what is happening to Angel physically, but I do not know what he is like as a person, or even if he is a person. Even when his thoughts were described, it is done in a very scientific, disconnected way. A bit more background information and descriptions of what was going through his mind would have been helpful, in my opinion.

I like the last line. It makes you think. This whole piece does, really. I am not quite sure if you were trying to convey a message with it - mostly what I got was an interesting and intense snippet of someone's life where something terrible is happening to him.

Keep writing!
im.a.werewolf.rawr chapter 1 . 7/4/2009
Woah... That was just... woah. I don't even have words. It was beautifully written. Everything was perfect. I could see all of this (whatever "this" is...) happening; your imagery was spot on. And though I was confused, it was a good kind of confused and I think if I had understood this piece, it might have lost some of its power. Nicely done!
Gimcrack chapter 1 . 11/14/2008
I think I'll give you a more useful review.

This was absolutely fabulous! The attention to detail, colorful wording, every part of it was written remarkably well. There was a good mix of drama and gore that kept it away from obnoxious and pointless blood-letting. I really enjoyed it. :)
Cass McD chapter 1 . 9/25/2008
Wow dude, all those big words, this is amazing.