Hahaha I liked this! So sad it was a one shot though! I think it turned out well. Lovely.

I liked it, but I wish I could know how the story goes on.

cool :D

i like it!

I agree the ending was a little rushed, but with time constraints, that's quite understandable. You should have a go at re-writing the ending some day!

I've got to say, this isn't the kind of thing I read these days, and there were moments when it got a little too saccharine for me, but on the whole, I actually quite liked it x3 the mute idea was quite a good one - it's not been done too much before. And I really liked that you took it outside of a 'high school' setting. Nothing gets older more quickly than school romances.

The characters were believable, the basic premise was predictable, but you worked well in the genre, and the bit near the end with the random bar-kissing was definitely unexpected, but it did feel a little abrupt D:

I don't mean to sound so critical, by the bye. Your writing had quite a smooth feel to it, like stroking horsehair. Or something slightly less creepy.

Anyway, it's a shame you've not written anything in a while :/ you could really go somewhere with a little more practice.

I'm quite glad my friend told me about you now x3 nicely done )

More please? You mention you don't like the ending and neither do I. Still love the concept but I would love it more with a better foundation in Ian and Josh's relationship.

I really enjoyed reading this! :) it was well written and i liked the characters, well minus marie! :P

Hey I just read this, (I was scrolling through challenge fics..) I just wanted to say that I hope you continue this, add to it, ect. I think it's really good.

i loved josh, but the character that amused me the most was alicia. she reminds me of my friends, lol. it made me laugh.

Aw :( I feel so bad for Josh. He was in love with Ian this whole time, and then Ian had to go and be a bastard and started making out with another guy. But then again Ian didn't know, but still, Marie told him that Josh had a crush, so wouldn't he at least be a little more compassionate? Okay I'm ranting now, but I liked this story. You should continue it, I mean...it's not apart of freak of spade's challenge, but you should, I would really like to see what would happen to Josh. Good job, and sorry for this crazy long review '

Whoa. Very bittersweet, but very well writen for third-person. That view is trickie, at lest in my opinion and you pulled it off with flying colors. Could Hidden Chance work for the title? Of course Slow and Silent Wins works.

No worries, about procastion it happens to the best of us.

I liked that we found out about Ian from hearsay, I thought that was pretty creative. I'd completely expected it to be Josh he was making out with, though.

Haha well that was definetly a catchy first sentence. Hahaha gosh I laughed so much at this, and it had a lot to do with him being mute and I feel so mean. Usually when you think mute it's "aw cute, cuddle it" but this story is pointing finger and laughing, because the character just seems so pathetic! I'm kinda thinking about him as an animal or something, cause he can make noises but can't talk.

I like this sentence so much, it sounds so cute somehow: "The floor's a little interesting."

Darn you so gotta write a story about a person who can't memorize words XD

Maria IS a fat bitch. I hate her. OMG. She should die.

Me likee.

Procrastination is key in writing. Remember that.

Josh and Ian sitting in a tree. . . . . . . . .

You should totally do a follow-up, if not just a short little ditty to show the two of them together in the distant future. . . . . Just like one or two hundred words of dialog would make an awesome epilogue. Even though this is a one-shot for a challenge. . . . .

Woot.

To the ending: OH SNAP! XD Until the last line, I was thinking it'd be good to continue...but I think the last line wraps up the story nicely But, yeah, very cute story!

This is pretty good. I think it'd make a great story if you continued on with it instead of making it a one-shot.