Reviews for Pursuit
Llyhael Aquilla chapter 2 . 4/5/2010
wow, your story is interesting! i can feel the suspense already. :D

uhm... update please?
KT-ImmortalIncarnate chapter 2 . 5/22/2009
Oh I like this story, I can't wait for the next chapter. You're a good writer! I hope the next one comes up soon!
foohypink chapter 2 . 5/3/2009
Its really good, I love the preface, please update soon. Thanks ! _
Aiden Butler chapter 2 . 3/30/2009
This story is great, I'm anxious to know what happens next.
poppiesinoctober chapter 2 . 1/27/2009
Awh, this is pretty good so far.

I am excited to see what is going to happen in the rest of the story.

:)

Keep updating!

-Rachel
Lack of Sanity chapter 2 . 1/26/2009
Wow, this seems very interesting so far. Although I can't say much has happened, there being only a preface and a chapter, you've already managed to set up the feeling of the story; very creepy, the tense kind of atmosphere that develops after noticing that which was once familiar is somehow different, wrong. You stated that this isn't quite a vampire story, so I'm assuming you've created your own breed of supernatural, which always turns out fascinating. The two boys Chloe encounters are of the same species, I assume? And that the black-haired one wears the goggles to hide his own black eyes. Perhaps he (goggle-boy, I shall dub him), sensed that she 'belonged' to another of his kind, and therefore left her alone? Just a theory, but I can't wait to see more of this story and find out the truth.

By the way, from what you've described of your supernatural 'beings', they seem to bear some similarities with a phenomena known as BEKs, or Black-Eyed Kids. There are a number of reports from people who encounter these beings. They are always young, almost always silent, and of course, have completely black eyes (including the sclera). I was just curious if you knew about them, and if they were in any way inspiration for your 'vampires'.

There's more I'd like to say, but I have no more time left to continue. Keep up the great work!
makemebreakme555 chapter 2 . 1/22/2009
Awesome story, it has a lot of mystery for now and i cant wait to uncover it. Nice beginning you are talented writer.
midnightsecrets chapter 2 . 1/15/2009
great story! update soon
Alice B. Black chapter 2 . 1/13/2009
Overall, I liked this story very much. It flowed well, everything was written very well. I didn't like the zs you used for the vibration of the text message, that totally threw me out of the loop; I think it would have been better if you were able to go without them. All I was thinking was about someone sleeping.
bla chapter 2 . 12/27/2008
Great Story :D

Very awesome, i realy like the preface, it definently caught my attention :D

update soon!
avae chapter 2 . 11/24/2008
Hi RoseLynn,

I absolutely love your story so far, it's very intriguing. I was going to say I hope you update soon but then I just read that you're busy with the Nano thing at the moment, so it might take a while.

Anyway, as long as you do update... I'll try and be patient :)

Just one thing I noticed... you jumped between tenses once or twice. Once it's in the sentence about the customer brushing his fingers against hers when taking the bag with his movies.

Other than that... fantastic. I love the way you write and I think this is a very promising story. Can't wait to read more!
Autumn Maiden chapter 2 . 11/19/2008
heya, this story is sounding real promising! keep it up and update soon! cant wait to see where its heading, the style is well developed as well and good use of spacing, when the paragraphs are al jumped together it puts some people of reading it. GOOD WORK! update soon
Counting Petals chapter 2 . 10/20/2008
There were some awkward-sounding sentences in this chapter; a good way to fix that would be to read things aloud and see if they sound natural. Other than that, though, not really anything to comment on.
Counting Petals chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
Wait...so she goes from adamantly denying the existence of fate to just accepting it? Did I miss something?

Other than that, though, a good start.
Kyouen chapter 2 . 10/15/2008
I really love it when I read something that keeps me interested the whole time. So thanks for that :D I'm liking the mysterious boy(s) bit, and I think it's really amusing that she works at a place called Humpers. It made me laugh. I can't wait for more!
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