Hello!

I actually read this story as well as your Gakuen Alice fanfics a ONE AND A HALF YEARS AGO at DeviantART. And then, I moved on to FanFiction. Net. and (sadly) forgot all about you. Then, today, I was reading Gakuen ALice fanfics again and I was like, "Who's that author who also wrote that fic on DeviantART?"

Then, I remembered that your pen name was Gentlewolf and so I searched for you and I saw this story and I was "EHMAGAWD! It's her!"

Anyways...

Awesome story! But you should continue!

Okay, this is really bothering me. Don't use Japanese words when there is an equivalent English word that doesn't sound awkward at all. For instance, you could easily substitute "kawaii" with cute. But not so easily substitute "itadakimasu" (sp?) with "Thank you for the meal". By that, I mean any phrase where the Japanese equivalent comes to mind instantly like that, you're better off leaving it in Japanese. Like itadakimasu or tadaima, which are unique to Japanese culture. In America, and a bunch of other European countries you don't necessarily thank someone for meals, or say "I'm home" or "Stay safe" everytime you come in/leave the house. If it has a normal, non-awkward English equivalent, (like "hayaku", when you could say "hurry") you're better off leaving it in English. There's also the problem of assuming that the reader knows all these words. We can tell by the names that this story takes place in Japan, you don't have to use Japanese vocabulary. Do you know what I mean?

Sorry, it was bugging me.

~C.S.

This is a nice one!

A few typos in ch 4 and ch 1, but overall it's nice xD

Is 'Emily' dead already?

Please update soon xD

Sugoi Sugoi!

I read chapter 4 last night, but had to wait until this morning to post a review, so I apologize for the wait. . . But this chapter was amazing. The direction you've taken is EXTREMELY original from anything I've ever heard of or read. I am very excited to find out what the accident was, and find out other things. This site needs a star system! you'd get 5 from me _ Keep up the great work.

LOL, I have to agree. . . I'm saddened by the cliffhanger. But this story is turning out REALLY good thus far. The characters seem completely original, though still keeping within the confines of anime and having those awesome "can't help but fall in love with right away" personalities and characteristics. Nothing less from Gentlewolf-chan _

aw cliff hanger boo