Reviews for Loss
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 10/18/2008
The last line is 6 syllables, which isn't right. Also, I think repeating the word empty twice in such a small piece is way too repetitive.

I do like the piece, the idea is very relateable and the word disheartened is a really great choice.

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game forum and/or it's Review Marathon (link in my profile).
PoetryQueen chapter 1 . 9/29/2008
I liked this. The first line is really good. The only thing I didn't like was how you started a line in 2 and finished it in line 3. But still, this was different, I liked it, so good job!