|Reviews for What a Coincidence|
| Drips of Blue-Green Turpentine chapter 1 . 11/15/2008
So this is cool, I like the beginning plot. Although, I understand a lot of my friends are gay or bi or as some of us put it Pan-sexual, the last one is me, (Basically means you don't care what gender), I don't think we could qualify it to be 45% of our schools population, (In fact lets just say that only the drama club's Actors and Techies or the Art Club have any real type of gay in them and there are only a few exceptions such as when it comes to the gay valedictorian we had when I was a freshman that was in the debate club and math leagues.) So honestly, I think you are a bit out there putting a school with 45% population supposedly being gay, unless your character was exaggerating, while despite his seemingly extreme fear of homo and bi-sexual people, he seems very down to earth and serious, as do all your current characters in this first chapter except Chris.
Which brings me to my next topic. All your characters seem so formal, it's like they popped out of a sitcom where they all speak in turn, never overlap, never pause for a break in the conversation, never eat their food, and never mishear each other. It's almost mechanical right now and needs a little bit of error and human mistake to make it seemingly plausible.
Okay, past the negative parts, now onto the good.
I think it is awesome that you are writing in first person, that is my favorite point of view. I also like how you choose characters that are not mechanical and do in fact have more points of view outside of normal conversation. Although you have mechanical conversation, the way your characters think in this chapter seem to make up for the lack of personal character touch. Although Ellie seems a bit underdeveloped in this chapter, but as far as I know she can grow past that. Chris is the only one who really showed his personality as the stereo-typical best friend, jerk, side-kick type of a character, and he seems to have a bit of bad qualities in him and almost as if he is going to create some type of drama.
Basically, I think you have a great start, and in all honestly, even if you aren't finished posting your other story, this one is doing great. I unfortunately think I am going to be going to bed now, but I may read part of your next chapter, but I honestly need to get to bed as I am so far behind in my R.E.M. sleep from my current schedule of Shows for the Play my school is doing that I slept until 1 Pm today, when I normally sleep until 10 am at the absolute latest. Looking forward to reading some more of this.
Drips of Blue-Green Turpentine
(The kind that has been mixed with so much paint it is almost paint itself.)
| kfjkaskm chapter 8 . 11/15/2008
Finally, I've been waiting for this story to update all wek. I thought I would have to kidnap you just to make you write! LOL, I love Sunny but he doesn't beat Jonas. I'm guessing that the journal belongs to Sunny. And I thought Jonas was dense! I thought Mitch would put the pieces together. That is as far as I got and I'm not guessing any father. I'm just going to have to be suprised. Can't wait until the next chapter with Jonas, then Sunny, then Jonas, and then Sunny again. I'm looking forward to Wednesday! If not then I'm relly going to kidnap you and you'll write forever. Seroiusly, you are an amazing writer, it's not everyday I'll go around kidnapping author! Keep up the great job!
| keewee chapter 8 . 11/15/2008
i was reading the responses you gave to some reviews and
IM A JONAS FAN TOO! im not really a mitch fangirl, but yes. codyxjonas
| JtheChosen1 chapter 8 . 11/15/2008
haha ur responses to my reviews are just too priceless! absolutely LUV this chapter! very intriguing!
| Night Innocence chapter 8 . 11/15/2008
I am totally all for Jonas and Cody, but Mitchell's side is also getting so good. I actually thought that the journal person was someone that was already in the story, but I guess that doesn't really make sense since no one really seems like the journal person.
Personally, I'm not a fan of tatoos in general, but Cody just makes it all sexy.
| gallowsCalibrator chapter 8 . 11/15/2008
Lol yay new character! Awesome chapter. Can't wait for you to update!
| MisterScotty chapter 8 . 11/15/2008
haha, is the next chapter about this Sunny kid? I bet it is! lol. I don't know, just guessing.
Mitchell's story isn't as enticing as Jonas and Cody's because theirs is sort of a cliche only better and we all love cliches. It completes us romance readers. lol. I think this chapter is better, the story is starting to pick up, so that's interesting. In all honesty, i find the whole drunken abuse father used way too much in such stories, but of course, we love cliches, as long as you work it well. If you're going to go into the whole angst of it, be careful because it's easy for it to be flat.
Can't wait to see what you come up with next.
Don't neglect Cody and Jonas too long because those are your most popular characters!
| knittedknickers chapter 1 . 11/15/2008
Just finished reading live for me-sorry haven't left review yet, but I will :) Wanted to let you know that this story is going to be great, I started laughing immediately. It helped lift my spirits after receiving bad news this morning. I can't wait for the next update.
| eCZi chapter 7 . 11/8/2008
I think it's me who didn't have a name. O_oYeah, it was me.
WHY DO I LACK A NAME?
But anyways, I shall continue with the review! :]
Bwuahaha, Jonas gettin' GAY! :D That's always fun to watch. :]
Okay, so the journal's not ELLIE'S...Could it possibly be Cody's?
Or maybe a stranger!
I like strangers...kinda. O_o Ish.
But I'm really excited to read more of the journal!
I'm just about as intrigued as Mitchell is! lol
Anyways, please update soon! :D WE're all really excited about this story! :D
| kfjkaskm chapter 7 . 11/7/2008
Love this story, can't wait for chp 8. Poor Jonas he can't keep his mind off of Cody!
| electricwrds chapter 7 . 11/7/2008
I love this story!
Jonas had to be the biggest -insert insult here- but he is truely my favorite! Keep writing, please.
| Cattails chapter 7 . 11/5/2008
Ahaha! Poor Jonas XD Just give in! :D Ick, laps...always hated those in high school... And despite the extra ickiness of chicky there getting it on with the teacher, it led to more Cody! So that's okay Ah, and showers...much awkwardness to be had there. Jonas is SO not subtle. Heh. Oh! Ellie's got a crush XD Excellent.
| chinksta chapter 7 . 11/5/2008
DAMN RIGHT I'M INTERESTED! In fact, I should be doing my homework right now.
| gallowsCalibrator chapter 7 . 11/5/2008
Lol way cool and awesome. Can't wait for you to update!
| Abstruse Blue chapter 7 . 11/5/2008
Oh my goodness, I love you for loving me for loving this story! xD Great chapter I like how dumb and oblivious Jonas can be. I find it cute!