|Reviews for She Will Be Loved|
| Mandyg chapter 37 . 8/24/2009
brilliant story. I would have loved Riley to just wait on his love for her and be stubborn about the whole marraige thing more.
would have loved Eli to teach her some fighting moves to defend herself, also Eli to find out about Grace or is this a whole new story.
And Jason and Delia,... come on i'm sure they can hook up.
River & Stephanie, i can read between the lines what happened but they both need to find love, with or without each other. Maybe you just had to elaborate on it. And Amelia and Donovan after so long, finaly together?
Dont get me wrong, i loved your story.
| this wild abyss chapter 42 . 8/12/2009
I am adding this story to my c2. Please contact me if you have issues with this.
All the best,
| Strangely Natural chapter 41 . 8/12/2009
Such a rich story, with well developed characters, who are consistent and true to their personalities and their personal traumas throughout the book. I loved how real you made the teenagers be and how everyone truly isn't black or white just different shades of gray, very very true. Overall a wonderful book I'd like to read over and over. I hope there are sequels too :) , to explain if Stephanie ever made River pay and got her life together and made amends with Riley etc, or if Eli ever found Grace again and their lil' baby, or if Toby ever survived his family and got out before they turned him into another Jared, (sorry for him too). So many subplots, so many other possible stories. The only complaint I have is that the story should have been longer ;) and maybe a bit more descriptive. I love the size of the chapters makes it so nice and easy to read. I hope you continue writing you have SUCH skill and you captivate the reader so effortlessly!
| Mayor of Alternia chapter 42 . 7/28/2009
Oh my god...
That was amazing.
I cried SO much.
| Cantremembermyemail chapter 41 . 5/13/2009
Just came across your story, and since you mentioned that you're thinking about going back through it, I had a couple thoughts as I read. Overall, I thought your story was great!
1. I feel like it's slightly far-fetched that the first option David and Eleanor come up with is to marry off their 17-year-old kids. I think you need to provide a little more background there. I like the whole family soulmates thing, but I just don't feel like forcing your kids to get married is a typical response to "oh, a freak is trying to hunt down my daughter". Not typical is okay, but it just needs a little more justification. And Riley's friends act like it's completely normal? (However, I do have to say that I love the arranged marriage plot. I think arranged marriages are some of my favorite story plot-lines. :)
2. Why would the marriage, and being a part of the family, make Hayley and therefore her mother, "untouchable" forever? You said that a couple times, but never really solidified your reasoning. Is it because there would be increased security? More press coverage? How does it change things?
3. The epilogue was so fast! I'd love to see more of the wedding, because that's what everything has been leading up to!
4. I think your readers need a little more insight into Jared. (I think his name might change spelling in a few spots?) Hayley only has good happy memories of the best daddy ever, yet he's been locking up his wife and abusing her for years? Hayley never noticed this? I feel like that would have really impacted her view of her father, especially if she and her mother are best friends. Is it only the paternity that has caused Jared to go from a loving father, to a homicidal maniac? That seems a little extreme.
5. I love that you write that Riley's change of heart surprises him too. His transition between angry boy to loving, protective boyfriend was a little fast, but I like that you talk about how he's just as surprised at his protective feelings. Maybe play that up a little bit more?
6. What happened to the kid that was taking care of Hayley's mom?
6. I definitely think your writing progressively got better as you got into the story. The first few chapters were a little rushed and choppy (which is easily fixed with a little editing), but you really expanded as you continued! Kudos!
I hope these little nit-picky things don't make it sound like I didn't like your story. I really enjoyed it and it was well written! I think you can definitely take it further and I would love to read more of your stories!
| pinkrebeldr chapter 42 . 5/8/2009
I love this story. It hits home and I have re-read it servaral times I want to hear more on hayley and riley then the son I dunno how to put it but you are an accomplished writer and I want more!
| bw695x chapter 1 . 5/6/2009
i really thought this pic:
looks like hayley the way riley describes her :)
I LOVE YOUR STORY! im not that crazy about the sequels being about the other couples, more interested in more with hayley and riley together
| bumblee bee chapter 41 . 5/4/2009
omg great story really orignal plot line i really like it! omg you should write a sequal to it showing what river is doing anmd how he tries to get her cause he was really creppy
i love your style of writing truly beautiful!
well hopefully you will take into consideration a sequal!
great story love bee
| lostlette chapter 41 . 4/30/2009
I LOVED THIS STORY!
| 234235134 chapter 42 . 4/20/2009
this is such a wonderful story sorry im late to review!
| HelloFasination chapter 42 . 4/18/2009
Heii LOVE UR STORY
its one of my favourites they are so cute together
cant wait til the next one
Ur Biggest Fan
Lol Lukes Fat
| Amelya chapter 41 . 4/5/2009
This story is so irresistible I read it in one go. You've done a great job creating characters and developing their personalities. I liked the fact that all of them had their faults and redeeming qualities as well. Also, the story hasn't lost its momentum throughout so many chapters, which is due to your writing style. I wonder if you planned it out before writing or just went with the flow, but either way I like the effect a lot. I can't wait for the sequel to see what happens to Hayley and Riley's friends. I hope you'll write Stephanie and River's story first.
| hottei2005 chapter 41 . 3/31/2009
you shud make a part two to this story
| Bellawen chapter 41 . 3/22/2009
Omg I loved this story! It kept my 9-5 working day very interesting let me tell you! )
| Priscilla Shay chapter 42 . 3/22/2009
Ok, I liked the story, lol, lets get that out of the way first :) But, there were a couple of things:
1) I'm assuming this is set in this century or the last, but some of your word choice and phrases (removalists, propriety about the woman hugging the man etc) make it sound like 1930s or earlier.
2)You mention somethings randomly and they don't seem to connect. I don't know if you're planning on a sequel, but as it stands this story is incomplete.
Is Grace's baby ok? Is it a boy? Does she ever contact Eli? I'd really like more back story about River. Why was he so jealous? What happened to him? To Stephenie? What happened at that dinner? Did they disappear after that? What about Jason? And Delilah? Does he tell her anything? Does she know he likes her, will she ever?
Like I said, I liked the story alot _ ! At the beginngin I was close to their with what was happening to Hayley, but then after awhile Idk. They may have fallen for each other too quickly. Because you TELL us they fell in love, rather than showing us. I think it happened in the chapter they spent all night talking to each other, but we were told they talked and learned everything, but we don't know what they learned. And does Riley ever tell Hayley that Stephenie was his ex-gf? Because I would think Riley would have more trust issues than that one time between Hayley and River.
And it's fairly long with 40 chapters and an epilogue, but there's some stuff missing and I think it would be an even awesomer story if you filled in some things. Like, the thing about Riley's grandparents, you randomly interjected that part where you tell about their superstition. That would is nice, but I was looking around like..who are they? Maybe you could put that as like a prologue? Sort of like a short story, their history.
Or not, lol, you could just ignore everything i said. But, good luck, have fun!
Okay, I just read that you ARE doing sequels, but still, maybe in this epilogue add in tidbits about what happened to the others?
M..I say! Lol, as if i haven't offered enough of my opinion, River and Stephanie or Grace and Eli's stories because they seem the most immediate. Since R/S had dinner and they were kinda focused on or G/E because they have a kid...lots of drama their
AGAIN liked it :)