|Reviews for Recharge Me|
| The Image keeper chapter 1 . 8/13/2010
its cute and i know wa you mean )
| Mirabella chapter 1 . 2/21/2010
I think this works well as we live in a modern electronic era, so well done. :)
| Kalista Jia chapter 1 . 1/7/2010
This poem is amazing! It's so unique! (well to me, it is unique!)
Battery low, recharge required
(It makes me jerk for a second, because my mouse battery was low and I have to recharge it. It feels like they just spoke! LOL)
Please, please, show me the way
before I am replaced with the
newest high-tech model.
(It makes me feel bad for all the appliances that were replaced. T-T Even though this poem is a metaphor for probably someone's feeling.)
Really cool poem!
| JC-Saved-Me chapter 1 . 12/5/2009
Wow so I haven't been on fictionpress for quite some time and this poem is the first one I read when I return to this site. I loved it! :) Definitely a favourite.
| Kate Marshall chapter 1 . 9/19/2009
I really like the first two lines. "Battery low, recharge required" sets the theme well. The 'tone' sounds like it's actually from a computer or something. A neat thought. It's so consistent. :)
In the second stanza, "...so I'm not constantly fading" sounded a little weird to me. A little... flat? I think a semicolon and "I'm constantly fading" would sound better. Something along that line. A contrast would make it more interesting; as is, the line's too much of a statement to really pop out. (I think that makes sense.)
"before I am replaced with the newest high-tech model." I love this ending! It's so materialistic; I think that emphasizes your point in the poem nicely, and it sounds lovely, too. ;)
People overlook form sometimes in poems. This poem is very 'clean' and organized well. So I appreciate that.
Congrats on first place in the RM!
Review Squader for the Review Marathon,
| LoonyLuna chapter 1 . 9/6/2009
Wow it was great! I would never think of a metaphor like that! Well done..
| jojoba-music-girl chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
I thought the last stanza was refreshing! It makes the piece more light! Hope you're feeling better now, though ;-)
| in theory chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
The shape of this poem struck me; it looks like one of those ancient little cyber pets (aka as tamagotchis?)
Even though the summary refers to you, I "heard" the narrative voice as the voice of some little electronic pet, dependent on batteries even more than humans (but then I understood this as a metaphor within a metaphor).
| BlackestOpal chapter 1 . 7/29/2009
This metaphor would be a little cheesy, but I think that you pull it off pretty well.
I like the simple line of "I don’t want to die". It says the most, I think.
The last two lines are also interesting. I guess that's what a lot of us are afraid of, being replaced.
| fleur de l'est chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
I liked the metaphor, but some of the lines, especially the middle verse, seemed a little cliched.
| crazyman12 chapter 1 . 5/5/2009
I agree that this metaphor is a bit cliche, but you made it work just the same.
I especially enjoyed the last stanza: "please, please, show me the way / before I am replaced with the / newest high-tech model." This was an amazing line! You turned the cliche metaphor into something that was entirely your own.
Overall this was a fantastic piece. great work.
| Chasing Skylines chapter 1 . 4/25/2009
(Working my way down your profile now, haha).
Hahaha, I liked this, I found it sort of humorous.
It was straightforward in what's happening to the narrator, but who the narrator is is up to interpretation, which I like. For all I know, it could be taken literally and the narrator is actually a robot who escaped and can't recharge itself. Or "energy" could be a metaphor for something else; love, perhaps.
I did think the usage of the words "high-tech" was sort of awkward, though it tied in with the rest of the poem. It's probably the reason for the literal interpretation of the narrator being a robot, haha.
- Review Marathon, link in profile.
| The-Golden-Hour chapter 1 . 4/5/2009
| Narc chapter 1 . 2/3/2009
Wow! This is really good, and I don't even like poetry! I guess I like how simple and straightforward it is. You should really consider trying to get this published in a lit magazine or something. :)
| LeonAle chapter 1 . 1/5/2009
I really enjoyed the metaphors in this poem. As I read, I could relate to the feeling of being exhausted (or in this case, being low on battery). The poem seemed very brief, yet it was precise and told me a lot in several short phrases.
I'm not sure what constructive criticism I could give you; it seems that everything is all right here. Overall, it was very interesting to read!