|Reviews for Taken or Forsaken|
| Kyllorac chapter 1 . 12/9/2008
Freebie Review 4/5
"Banned or abandoned" may work better as "Abandoned or banned?". It is much less awkward to say, especially following "Forbidden or forsaken?" since the rhythm is so very different than "Forbidden or forsaken?" Reversing the two words would also help improve the spoken flow without altering the visual flow too much. The visual flow of the stanza looks fine as is.
You might want to take a closer look at the punctuation. It's a bit jarring to come across an improper use of a comma when the rest of the poem is properly punctuated.
I enjoyed the subject of the poem. I got more of a hopeful feel than sad, though, mainly because of the last line. This poem sounds to me like someone giving advice in hopes that the broken relationship gets fixed.
Overall, though, another good poem that just needs a bit of polishing. :D
| Stardrag chapter 1 . 10/11/2008
...things like that happen almost all the time, I liked how you say at the end to not take that for granted. Allot of people would hold some kind of grudge or something, never speaking to that person again.