|Reviews for Sanity is in Question|
| Zatyrmoon chapter 2 . 10/21/2008
I really enjoy this story... while there are some that update more.. your story is worth the wait with its detail, realism, and length. Please keep going ! I look forward to reading more about "Jam"
| jammi chapter 2 . 10/20/2008
love the fact that you're dropping hints and not just making it come out at us from no where, great continuation from where you left off without making it too sudden, i do wonder why she never assumes the girl her mother is talking about is herself since she is the only female her mother has 'control' over.
Love the fact that from the beginning she's attracted to him but thinks there's something off with him 'voice from the devil' or something along the lines, and same when she sees him in person, attraction and admiration for his looks but straight fear.
I want to know more about Maddie, like why is she in cahoots with Mr. V [can't spell his name, sorry] and what control does he have over her that he can get her to throw parties but at the same time when she knew Alex was going to meet him for the first time she was worried about her, when it seems as if she doesn't like her that much.
Great chapter though there is a line [the voice like the devil part] where you wrote surly when I think you meant surely. I didn't notice anything else off.
| PerfectChaos859 chapter 2 . 10/20/2008
i really like this story! i cant wait for the next chapter!
| atreyu love chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
Cliffhanger much? lol
I bet hes the guy that calls her parents
all the time! lol I really like it though :)
| jammi chapter 1 . 10/18/2008
Between your summary and this chapter you have managed to grab my attention. Wodnerful start, I love the fact that your main character is bookish and seems as such. Her mother seemed anxious when she mentions her having a life, reading it it makes you wonder what brought that on.
Although at first I wasn't sure how old she was, yes she had a full time job but there were parts where I thought she was more like a high school senior -second year college student. Which might have to do with her naivity, like when she compares herself and others to fictional characters.
For me, that didn't ring true because no matter how sheltered you are and how much books are your life you realise that you can't base your body image on books, celebrities or models, but that's a personal pet peeve, lol. Looking forward to you next chapter, really enjoyed this.
| Kendal chapter 1 . 10/13/2008
I figured I might as well leave this here, rather than responding on the SKOW message board. Some technical things:
-Yes, I caught a few grammar errors. Nothing major, but if you can find a beta, that will help. I don't even have time to write my own stuff, or I would offer. And I probably wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't said something in your email. ;)
-You might want to watch how closely you break things into paragraphs. The fact that it is broken up into such short paragraphs is tedious at times, because it feels like there should be continuation between some of the sentences where there's not.
That said, the beginning is a nice foreshadowing that segues into the actual plotline, and your descriptions are detailed without being too much. Even better, they don't seem forced as they do when some people include them (sometimes they feel like an afterthought; yours do not). The ending is a nice cliffhanger, as well.
This seems to have a lot of potential. As has already been said, there is the potential to fall into old clichés, but if you've been planning out for as long as you have been, there's less a chance of that happening, which is a plus. Good luck!
| SPHINXy chapter 1 . 10/13/2008
Wow! Such a cool chapter! I am so envious of you as a writer. You have this way of letting us get to know your characters so well and yet not know everything about them. I am so jelous! The descriptions in this were great! far better than I have seen you write before! You could deffinately be an awesome writer!
| KiraLove chapter 1 . 10/12/2008
Great start to a new story. I wish you well on it.
| ssmoochic chapter 1 . 10/11/2008
interesting story so far, i like it. there was a few spelling mistakes, no big deal though. i hope u continue this story, hopefully you'll be able to keep up with both ; )