|Reviews for Concerning A Sibling Rivalry|
| Sis chapter 2 . 5/19/2009
I give a B! Very interesting and symbolic. thxs for sharing
| Silvermoon of Forestclan chapter 1 . 12/22/2008
its really good! are you going to continue it? With either ying and yang? or the jade emperor? or are you just going to leave it?
| ArtisticGeist chapter 1 . 12/13/2008
Heh, very different, but in a good way. I like how Yin and Yang simply fight like brothers and sisters do, even if the result is getting your new designer shirt charred. It gives the two of them character. The way you brought in Greek mythology subtly makes it somewhat humorous when it comes in contact with the Chinese element. Oh no, horror of horrors, Zeus gets New York! I like it. )
| sagewolf chapter 1 . 10/26/2008
Hm. Cool idea, and I like the use of present tense: it makes their struggle seem eternal, something that isn't just confined to this one event. It really fits your story. There were a few misused verbs in there, though. The two I can see right now are: [One would, if they SAW the two], and [They HAD just hurled their weapons]. Err, those are the corrections, not straight quotes. heheh. Other than that, it's good.
Also, your level of diction seems very confused. Somehow this has the air of a heroic bard's tale, although I can't explain how (maybe it was the mere mention of cosmic forces of any kind) but all the references to modern culture and all the colloquialisms clash with that constantly. Mind you, since the story is about two opposing forces clashing with each other, the resulting chaos may not be a bad thing... xD