|Reviews for she's biting her lip|
| Isca chapter 88 . 2/16/2009
"Puddle jumping should be a sport." Well, isn't that just a slap in the face. :(
| Isca chapter 87 . 2/16/2009
"Hard ships have battled storms on midnight seas." Wonderful wording and imagery! :)
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 2/14/2009
Alright, so I may as well just put you on author alerts. Not that I don't have enough people on there, but I can't let interesting and decent writing escape me. :) I love this kind of poetry, even though it's so far from who I am as a person - I think when it's executed properly, it's so amazing. And usually I don't like italics or bolds or things like that in poems, because they don't always work, but they work beautifully here. Love it. Gorgeous work. Keep writing! :)
| Time To Change chapter 89 . 2/14/2009
| Time To Change chapter 88 . 2/12/2009
Awesome metaphor. Beautiful piece.
| Time To Change chapter 87 . 2/9/2009
| Romanze chapter 1 . 2/8/2009
thumbs up. love the depth.
| simpleplan13 chapter 5 . 2/8/2009
"you've indented my way of being."...I really liked that line. It was a great way to describe what the person had done. Unique and powerful. Really great. The whole peace thing thing was really interesting too. Hinting at it and then spelling it out later was a great addition. I also like how the title works in with the line about peace being a statement. That was a nice correlation.
PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or Review Marathon (link in my profile)!
| simpleplan13 chapter 4 . 2/8/2009
I have to say I did not like this as much as the previous pieces. I felt like the descriptions and the word choices were things I've read before and having read your other pieces which were really creative this was kind of a let down.
Personally, I didn't really like italicizing the whole lines, especially the one you repeated. However, I liked the bolding those words worked well to be emphasized since they were both f words on their own line.
I did like the lines about not leaving you alone in the dark. That was a really sweet sentiment and not one you've read before.
| simpleplan13 chapter 3 . 2/8/2009
Interesting phrasing with the title. Not sure if I like it or not because it sounds a bit formal, which didn't really fit with the piece to me.
In this piece I though the italicizing of sickness and death wasn't really needed. It just seems like in such a short lines those words already stood out. The same with happiness actually. I did think bolding this worked really nicely though.
I really liked the first two lines. They created a really powerful image that drew the reader into the piece. I also thought your choice of the word gravel. It created a really great image of the person digging their nails into it. Great piece.
| simpleplan13 chapter 2 . 2/8/2009
"memories to live off of, where as i"...whereas
I thought the parenthesis and italics were a bit overkill. I might use not and not the other. I also though the "lack of (not) running" was confusing with the double negative.
I really love that last line. The idea of it being necessary to be free is really great and I think bolding that word is a really great way to emphasize it. Again, I also like the title because it adds to the piece.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 2/8/2009
I like your use of formatting. The bolding and italics worked nicely to emphasize certain parts.
Your descriptions are also really great. I especially love the first four lines, those were really powerful. And the wrecking ball metaphor, that was also really interesting.
The title works nice too, it definitely adds to the piece. And the piece itself definitely leaves me wanting to read more.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile)!
| GirlxAnachronism chapter 19 . 2/5/2009
for the poem clever trick
the feeling of a loved one walking away from you, or letting you down extreamly. I always love a poem i can just feel. I know exactly how this feels.
| GirlxAnachronism chapter 1 . 2/5/2009
I cling to your picture
and think 'not this time, not this
time.' i'm all but grateful
love those lines. totally relate to them, this panic feeling. love it
| Isca chapter 85 . 2/5/2009
"Your breathing grows dimmer with distance." There is something wonderfully spiritual about this line. :)