Reviews for Break Me
ilovetheopera chapter 1 . 10/20/2008
Oh thank God for you. This is your first poem on fictionpress? Please, write more, make this site a better place.

I think you need to utilise line breaks better, but I like your use of vocabulary and your phrasing. In case you're having trouble with the bitching text editor, use shiftenter for single line breaks.

Your punctuation also does not serve to better the poem, instead, it makes it more disjointed, and not in a good way. For example, see this edited version:

"Systematically destroy everything that makes me whole,

everything that keeps me safe.

Transform me,

shatter this cracked glass image.

Toss the pieces of fragments into the glass blower's canvas:

I acquiesce.

Melt away my worldly impurities,

mold me into someone beautiful,

color me

spectacular."

Do you see? Spectacular is a spectacular words, but the way you've used it cheapens it somehow, lessens its impact...

Best thing I've read on the just in page today. It's a dubious honour, but at least you have it. Unfortunately I have no idea what I would classify this poem as, but "freestyle" should be "free verse". And this is definitely not a prose poem.
MemoriesConsumed chapter 1 . 10/20/2008
I like your writing style; it's different to that of many others which I have read. As for what it is classified as, I would have said freestyle.