|Reviews for Break Me|
| ilovetheopera chapter 1 . 10/20/2008
Oh thank God for you. This is your first poem on fictionpress? Please, write more, make this site a better place.
I think you need to utilise line breaks better, but I like your use of vocabulary and your phrasing. In case you're having trouble with the ~bitching~ text editor, use shiftenter for single line breaks.
Your punctuation also does not serve to better the poem, instead, it makes it more disjointed, and not in a good way. For example, see this edited version:
"Systematically destroy everything that makes me whole,
everything that keeps me safe.
shatter this cracked glass image.
Toss the pieces of fragments into the glass blower's canvas:
Melt away my worldly impurities,
mold me into someone beautiful,
Do you see? Spectacular is a spectacular words, but the way you've used it cheapens it somehow, lessens its impact...
Best thing I've read on the just in page today. It's a dubious honour, but at least you have it. Unfortunately I have no idea what I would classify this poem as, but "freestyle" should be "free verse". And this is definitely not a prose poem.
| MemoriesConsumed chapter 1 . 10/20/2008
I like your writing style; it's different to that of many others which I have read. As for what it is classified as, I would have said freestyle.