Reviews for I know you'll miss me, daddy
LittleEmoKid chapter 1 . 5/9/2010
Okay… Well what can I say… First off, your hearts in the right place. You want to show people how horrible child abuse can be. But if you want to do that, you need to make your story more believable. Like for instance, Connie is suppose to be one. Her language skills can’t be that well developed. Not unless she’s some form of super baby. Another is, no one can survive the sort of torture she’s being put through. A hammer will do more than break her bones… They’ll crush them. Also, she would die from so much blood loss from the torture Simon is putting her through. And anyone is going to be very suspicious if a mother calls a week after her child goes missing. You also need to make the police seem more believable. My advice is to edit the story. I don’t mean to be harsh in my critique, but this is my opinion on how to make your story better. I like it just fine. Like I said, you have a great story set up. Just make it a bit more believable. Oh, and Abby doesn’t seem Bi polar. She just seems like a bitch… Also.. Make sure you get your medical facts straight. Bi polar comes in spells. It’s not a every five minute thing. I apologize if this hurts your feelings in anyway. But this is honestly what I think. Story great, just not as good as it could be because of the fact that everything in it isn’t very believable.
Narq chapter 6 . 1/19/2009
Chid abuse is awful...

great story

Narq chapter 5 . 1/19/2009
Wow! Long chapter~ and this was really good too~
Sooner Surrender chapter 1 . 1/19/2009
Too much input on the character's physical description. We need to feel the characters, not just see them. From that first chapter, I couldn't feel much of any of the characters. You should really use the spell check. You misspelled a bunch of words, such as innocent and yeah. Also, make sure you're capitalizing proper nouns. Example: Abby, I'm. It was good, but your mechanics were horrible, if you want the truth. May God bless.
Narq chapter 3 . 11/14/2008
poor kid... you did the last paragraph really well.

Narq chapter 2 . 11/14/2008
nice chapter~ oh, I saw you had some 'a's uncapitalized for Abby. And you've missed some aprostaphies (no idea if I've spelt that right..). Except for that, great chap!

Narq chapter 1 . 11/14/2008
Good story although you have some typos and grammer errors.

sekangel88 chapter 1 . 10/24/2008
This is very good. I look forward to chapter three.