Reviews for Outsider
Alexilaihorox chapter 3 . 1/27/2011
This story is really quite amazing :) I love all the characters and the way you write, and the line in the first chapter where the nurse described the baby's hair color made me literally laugh out loud haha XD

...I see that this hasn't been updated since 08 though...you haven't abandoned it have you? D:
Ish Mish Kiki chapter 3 . 8/24/2009
Very very nice story. I like the entire gypsy-thing, haven't read a lot of those before, so it must be original, right? I am extremely interested in an update. This shows a lot of talent so far.
xxCandlelightxx chapter 3 . 5/4/2009
joska should have a lump on his head from getting hit so much by now lol

great story, i hope you continue it
Essie chapter 2 . 12/6/2008
ok, based on baby's actions, she's at least 6 months. Which works out well for 1st chapter because i don't see how baron could figure out his wife's infidelity if she just gave birth. also i like it better that she could be the baron's daughter or she might not be. Baron appears colder because he doesn't care that she might be his and will eliminate her just to be sure ... just some suggestions.
Essie chapter 1 . 12/6/2008
I was readin ira & the siren (which is fantastic!) and thought i'd check out your other stuff. The summary of this story drew me in. Just some cc, newborns (couple of hours) are unlikely to giggle. They are pretty useless like limp worms ...
ThePixess chapter 3 . 12/1/2008
I heart Camilla. No, really, I do. I swear, one of these days you should write a story set in a tavern and just write about all the encounters the barmaids have. You rock at barmaids, and I love you all the more for it.

(I think you were the source of that one plotbunny where I wanted Elvira to work at a bar. XD)

“By the gods, a hive of bees live in your stomach. Every word from your tongue is honey.”

- ma-a-a-a-an, I can't believe you made me SWOON. Just a little. But still. Shizkin that is an awesome line.

There was somewhere in there where "eyeing" was spelled "eying". Check on that, dear, won't you?

"He submerged his ears and let his heart pound in his head, basking in the warmth, and setting himself to thinking of all the reasons in the world a baron would want a baby dead. Instead, he found himself thinking only of Camilla."

-STOP MAKING ME SHIP THEM! UNLESS SHE'S GOING TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER FOR THE WHOLE THING, THIS IS ONLY GOING TO END IN SHIP-SINKING TEARS! BAH! :)

*kiss, kiss*

Pixess

P.S. Don't know if you noticed, but I have a new story up. I'm not trolling, I just wondered if you'd glanced at it or if the concept was too dismal for your taste- in which case, no biggie XD
sorroy4saken chapter 3 . 12/1/2008
Aye, this is a great story! I cannot wait for you to update!
sorroy4saken chapter 1 . 12/1/2008
Ah! It's brilliant! I've been looking for a new middle age story to read! I love it! Now, on to the next chapter!
Flaming Jello chapter 2 . 11/3/2008
oh my gosh! i love this story! i so cant wait for more. even knowing that its coming, i cant stand it. this is getting more complicated and more involved every chapter and i just adore it! please update soon. I think you owe me another opportunity to bask you in adoration.

melting to mush,

F-J
Fwe chapter 2 . 11/2/2008
Nicely done so far. The first chapter was engaging and filled with enough action that it certainly kept me reading. The second chapter... Good, but there was a little too little going on in the beginning to keep my full attention. Near the middle it picked up again, though and kept me through to the end.

If there were something I'd recommend you work on, it would be your descriptions of what's happening. So far, you're much better with dialogue than with actions. It just doesn't flow as well in my opinion. But, then, that's just my opinion. Some sentences between dialogue tend to be too long and break what was happening, and some of it just seems a little rocky. Not to be a complainer, either, but I think the term "lanky Gypsy" is used just a few too many times.

That being said, I really do enjoy the characterizations you put out. They are each well-defined, and I love Tutela's wife. :D She's awesome. The names are also catchy. I saw Joska's name the first time and I thought - wow, that's a cool name. And, when he turned out to be the main character - nice.

I think it would be interesting to see how the Baron is characterized. Or if he's just going to be someone mentioned throughout the story but never appears. Honestly, I just can't ever pass up a good gypsy story. Nicely done, so far. Expert pacing, nice dialogue flow, endearing characters. A little work on your general prose and you could really be rather amazing at this. :D

Fwe
ThePixess chapter 2 . 11/2/2008
Teehee! I enjoy Joska, and the whole racism-is-bad subtext is a nice touch. You might want to tone down the "no"s at the end of Joska's questions, though- they get a little too repetitive. Still, very good, I enjoyed the whole broom/cockroach similie in the beginning. Also, the fact that the baby has similar traits to me deeply amuses and flatters me. XD
Lana Sky chapter 2 . 11/2/2008
I liked this chapter! You seem to balance dialouge with action really well, and I totally admire that.

I can't wait for the next update!

Happy Writings!

nicola
Flaming Jello chapter 1 . 10/26/2008
ok. I definately love this story so far and I REALLY want to know what happens next. So you should really, totally not sarcasticly, update. Grr... I want to know what happens... you devious little writer. Thanks for making my life, while reading this, amazing.

love!

F-J
Hell's first Icicle chapter 1 . 10/24/2008
having a pretty down day and reading this story really cheered me up, so i wanted to say thank-you and tell you that i loved this. can't wait to see what happens next! (especially with a cliffie like that. that's harsh, man. that's real harsh P )
Banane chapter 1 . 10/24/2008
I love the fact that you have certain descriptions that manage to make it into every fantasy (fantasy?) story that you write: gypsy's "bare brown feet" and the "arrows [that] wasped". It's like a signature.

Anywho. I likeh teh babeh. She's too cyoot. I'm a bit afraid for her, you know, besides the whole "mortal danger thing" since it's Joska we're talking about, but we'll see more of his paternal side I'm sure. XD
17 | Page 1 2 Next »