|Reviews for Kidnapped into love|
| Eugenia Rivas chapter 3 . 5/16/2012
it looks interesting! XD.-
| Sam Mariano chapter 3 . 1/4/2011
Also, I forgot to add, you don't get pregnant by having sex when you're on your period, you get pregnant by having sex when you're ovulating, which is most definitely not when you're on your period.
| Sam Mariano chapter 1 . 1/3/2011
The premise here is absolutely fine-however, when you write something like a "rape victim falls in love with rapist" situation, there will ALWAYS be critics and infuriated people who claim it's sick. Always. Guarantee, like death and taxes. That does not mean you shouldn't write it, and it doesn't make your story implausible at all-women love men who abuse them every single day. It happens. People need to calm down.
That said, this story is too rushed and you do need a beta. I'm guessing English is not your first language, and i'm sure if I tried to write a story in Spanish, the results would be similarly work-in-progress. The story needs to be fleshed our and paced a little bit-show, don't tell. Why does she love him? More detail about what happens when she's with him.
I'm sure you get the idea. :)
Anyway, I think you have a lot of potential and I would encourage you never to be dissuaded from writing a controversial story because someone complains about it. Practice makes perfect, so just keep on writing! :)
| Linnon Am Meleth Vin chapter 1 . 3/25/2010
Time for Raven's annual Good Reviewer/Bad Reviewer routine!
I like how you think outside the box. Typically, kidnappers are the bad guys, and you didn't go to that approach. Bailey is a pretty name. Also, you do have a right to post whatever you want, no matter what other people might think.
Well, first of all, the whole "parents keep me locked up all day so I don't get kidnapped" thing is really cliche, especially when she gets kidnapped three minutes after she says it. Typically, when a girl gets raped and impreganted, she freaks out. I would. But she starts crying and then - what? - she suddenly decides that she loves the guy! WHAT? AND, to make matters worse, he's apparently been stalking her, which by the way is NOT adorable. It's creepy. That's the kind of thing people get arrested for. Also, I'd like to point out that rapist stalkers are not usually in their early twenties. If the guy's so hot, why does he have to rape the chick? And finally: get either a beta or spellcheck. It's not that hard to CAPITALIZE and SPELL CORRECTLY and USE CORRECT GRAMMAR. It makes your story less credible and makes you look less than intelligent.
Sorry I had to get so tough there, but there were a lot of flaws. I think this story has potential, but there would need to be some major tweaking.
I'd like to see you improve upon this story. Remember: there are no bad writers, only bad writing.
Your Fellow Writer,
| Dieter Haley chapter 3 . 1/31/2010
this was so bad, i think reading it gave me cancer.
| breathless night chapter 1 . 10/25/2008
Hmm this story seems very interesting.
I mean she is in love with the man who raped her and left her pregnant.
Question are they gonna be together like a couple throughout the story
or did he just rape her then leave?
I really want to read chapter 2 to see how this story unfolds
Bring on the action!
PS: update soon plz ;D
| Amaury chapter 1 . 10/25/2008
"I actually hated him at first but some how he made me love him."
That sentence seems to be worded oddly.
Try something like,
"There was only hate at first, but somehow he's made me love him."
"He hardly even talks to me. Unless you count when he raped me."
I think you should combine that into one sentence.
"The only time he really talked to me was when he raped me."
"I should be mad that I with his baby but I not."
Did you mean, "I should be mad that I am pregnant with his baby, but I am not."
"I love him but try telling him that."
Doesn't really flow. I suggest revising that sentence as well.
Anyway, it sounds like a good story. Hopefully you don't think I'm being too harsh. Just trying to give some constructive critisism!