Reviews for A Plain Summer
dblack50 chapter 13 . 5/26/2009
More interaction with Whitney and Connor! Love it. I am still curious to see how things progress, if they progress, because of the vast differences.

I enjoyed seeing Whitney vulnerable. She's letting herself get close to this family and I suspect this will became far more than just an anthropology project.

Looking forward to seeing what it takes to win Nathaniel over...if he can be. You have me wondering if there is something in the past that has him so skeptical. I know there's obviously more than we know based on the comment to the nurse. Looking forward to the next chapter.
ByYourSide chapter 5 . 5/24/2009
:D

I LOVE your description. I have to say, the description really made it come alive-I could picture little Annie the best, and I loved when you mentioned Ethan's exuberant blue eyes. I love your detail on the Amish clothing, and your characters seem really, really real. This is just all-around amazing to me. I love the characters, the description, the research, the pacing-it moves along just fast enough to keep me interested, but not too fast, and I find myself hooked.

For the record, I am not one for little-house-on-the-prairie type stories at all, or romances. But yours is quite the exception. :]

I hope to see how Bethany grows as a character, and Annie too. I love Bethany's comment about having your hair down being sinful. That was an OOH, BURN! moment, and I felt so frustrated and sat for Whitney. Whitney is the only one I'm having trouble picturing. Out of curiosity, what does she look like besides short, layered hair?

So yeah, this is currently, like, my favorite story on fictionpress right now. I had some free time so I thought I'd drop by, and as always you kept me hooked to the very end. *applause*
C.F. Anne chapter 13 . 5/20/2009
aww...yay! I'm glad that Mrs. Kessler is fine! and yay for a new baby! that's exciting! :) GREAT job, and I can't wait to read more!
C.F. Anne chapter 12 . 5/20/2009
Gosh...I'm sorry it took me so long to reply! I've finally read this chaper though, and I do LOVE it! hehe! Amazing as always...though I'm awfully worried about what will happen to Mrs. Kessler...*goes to read the next chapter*
Samuel Harrisson chapter 12 . 5/18/2009
Well I finally got around to reviewing you! Sorry it took so long. Anyways this chapter is quite interesting. Your imagery is great, flow is awesome, and dialogue is fantastic. The only problem was that it is not my kind of story, I'm sorry! But overall, great job!

-Sam
deefective chapter 2 . 5/18/2009
Prize For Review Marathon!

Hmm, well firstly I liked how this was well written. It was interesting to read because you chose to write in the third person. I would've thought a story like this would be better conveyed in the first but to each his own. Also, I think the whole story-line of this piece was really interesting. I liked the unique factor, though I've read a book once that was somewhere along these lines. What I didn't like though was the ending of this chapter. It seemed too abrupt and not suspenseful enough. It doesn't draw the reader back to read more. I think maybe you should spice it up a bit. But other than that, nicely done.
Engineer of Words chapter 1 . 5/13/2009
Before I begin, thank you for reviewing my work. Glad you enjoyed it.

Anyway, I really liked the realism with which you portrayed this slice of the college-student population and their academic endeavors. Even if none of this came from personal experience, it seems much more than just a hypothetical scenario. The details of Whitney's body language [and the descriptions of that in general] convey their emotions infinitely better than just simply stating what he or she was feeling. That's really just icing on the cake of a believable character.

The rest of the chapter gave the reader no shortage of things with which to empathize for Whitney, either. Bad dreams, tight finance, inedible cafeteria food... Why does this sound familiar?

The only things I really didn't like are picky little things. The dream sequence felt like it dragged a bit despite its emotional charge, and the beginning of the chapter almost felt like a separate section entirely. You might want to re-word the "most dedicated student" comment made about Whitney in the second paragraph, since grandiose claims such as that tend to cross the line into cliché. Lastly, the slamming of the door need not be bolded, capitalized, and have three exclamation points. All caps with one exclamation and no formatting will work just as well and not jump off the page so much.

In brief, I really enjoyed reading this, and will certainly continue doing so beyond this chapter.
mikey magee chapter 2 . 5/13/2009
"two of which had extensive tests reviews."

You mean "test" reviews.

Not much to critique, really. I liked the use of dialog, it helped me to get reaquanted with the characters. The dialog between Whitney and her father Jeff was nice and read well. I really liked how you gave small a small back story for Jeff (He had never been to college before and had trouble relating to his daughter.) It sets up a possible plot point well.

I think some of the "long drawn out silences" between father and daughter could have conveyed the awkwardness rather than shown it. Meaning, you could have described how she was feeling in the silence or what she saw during the silence to give the scene that slow and strange feel.

I think the ending could use a bit more of a bite to it. It seemed like it just ended and it didn't make me want to read on further. Maybe have some descriptions of the cold air filling her or the long walk back from the mail box. I think it would help.

Other than that, nice job. Keep Writing!
M chapter 13 . 5/12/2009
Absolutely amazing. I just found this story and read through all 13 chapters, just loving it. The subject matter is just so delicious! I can't wait to see what else happens, where you take the story. It's wonderful. Please, please, PLEASE keep up the great work!

M
ByYourSide chapter 4 . 5/12/2009
A chapter from the Plain point of view-I like it! What I like especially is that your characters, even though they're Plain, seem just like me! That's horrible; I didn't mean any offense or anything, I just meant that even though we live different lifestyles, I could relate with even Bethany.

I like all the research you put into this, with the slang and the proper names of clothing. It really makes the story and background come alive. *claps* All the detail makes the setting so vibrant and interesting. I love it.

So Whitney has a place to stay! Yay! Can't wait until she moves in and the drama gets stirred up even more. *cheers*

Awesome story, very realistic, very interesting, very attention-grabbing!
Twist Their Emotions chapter 13 . 5/12/2009
Well, an update was heavenly after that terrible cliffhanger! Great job. Love the progressing plot and the characters and story are so realistic it is hard not to feel involved.
Darknessfalls-1120 chapter 1 . 5/7/2009
I liked this story because it was very detailed and interesting. I would like to read more.

On the other, hand I had a slight dislike in the story because of the symbols distracted me a little.

Overall you did a great job!
dblack50 chapter 12 . 4/27/2009
This chapter was definitely worth the wait. You jumped right in with a chapter full of excitement. I'm curious to see how things progress, if they progress, with Connor and Whitney. I imagine any relationship would be difficult because of their cultural differences. I'm anxious to see if Whitney ever wins over Mr. Kessler too.

Can't wait to find out what is wrong with Mrs. Kessler. Great chapter.
Menginpeh chapter 2 . 4/23/2009
It does seem like you're always held accountable when you are the least prepared. Hate it when that happens. HAHA! :)

Yum! Triscuits are my favorite kind of cracker. Add an apple and sharp cheddar and I would be perfectly happy with that for a 't tried the cracked pepper ones, but now I want to. :)

Typo - his surprise couple with concern - coupled

Still wondering what happened with her family, but I guess I'll find out if I keep reading. :)

I think her thesis research is going to prove to be extremely enlightening.

Enjoyed it. :)
Denizen47 chapter 1 . 4/21/2009
Freebie!

So, an interesting, if long, start. And I think the length counted against you hear - though the storytelling and majority of the grammar was solid readers want to be able to get the gist of the story fairly quickly to decide if they want to continue reading. You could quite easily split this into 3 chapters of fairly good length which would probably help draw in new readers each time you update.

I only found one niggle:

[I don’t believe you are telling me the whole truth.

Can we just get back to work?

Fine, fine…]

Though the exchange on the most part was solid, this ending was a bit superfluous and didn't really feel real - would he right in such stilted and somewhat formal language? Would he have responded with "Fine, fine..." ? That kind of thing.

Overall though it sets up an interesting story, a clever premise and gives the character depth with an already fairly felshed out backstory. Well done. :)
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