|Reviews for A Plain Summer|
| Midnight Black Rose chapter 8 . 1/6/2009
-for "Forum: Review Traders"-
That was actually interesting, nicely done, i loved the dialogues for i felt the emotions expressed well, great and strong characters, and a wonderful plot!
Well, that's one sentence! hehehe...
| C.F. Anne chapter 8 . 1/5/2009
EK! YAY! Connor! I'm so glad he's arrived! XD Took you long enough...LOL. j/k...really. :) Anyway, it was wonderful and I enjoyed reading it a lot! Keep up the wonderful work!
| C.F. Anne chapter 7 . 1/5/2009
Wow...poor Mrs. Kessler! I want to just hug her right now! *sigh* But regardless, I LOVED this chapter, and I can't wait to read more.
| C.F. Anne chapter 6 . 1/5/2009
HEY! I'm so sorry it took me forever to get back to this, but I LOVE it so far...especially the milking scene...and yeah, I can see why people might not like Bethany (*cough*). She was very blunt. XD But anyway, great chapter as always. :)
| princessarielle3 chapter 6 . 1/4/2009
Love your story write more soon. I need to read more
| dblack50 chapter 9 . 12/22/2008
Wow. I didn't see that coming! Mrs. Kessler pregnant!
I like that things with Bethany and Whitney are alright now, but that they didn't just fall into being "buddy buddy" with each other. The sarcasm works for them, and I think will build a stronger friendship in the end. Has Whitney met Kristen yet? I've been looking forward to seeing how that goes.
The story is really moving well now. All the background/set-up at the beginning worked well to let it flow now. I'm still intrigued to hear about Whitney's past and what happened to her mother.
| dblack50 chapter 8 . 12/22/2008
Wonderful! I love the conclusions Whitney is already drawing from the short time she's been there. I'm curious to see how things progress for her in the community.
I really like Bethany. I think it's great that you are showing such strong personalities in the Amish women while still keeping them true to their culture. Very interesting. It seems you've done your research for this story.
| dblack50 chapter 7 . 12/22/2008
I'm really enjoying getting to know Bethany and the rest of the family. It seems Whitney is going to win at least Bethany over before things are finished. Yah!
Things flowed very well this chapter. If there were any mistakes (grammer, etc.) I missed them completely.
| dblack50 chapter 6 . 12/22/2008
I enjoyed this chapter very much. Watching the interaction between Bethany and Whitney was entertaining, and although they seem to have come to some understanding, I can't imagine things will always run smoothly from here.
As for the length, I thought it was a good length. Even the ending didn't seem incomplete, but I have not read the next chapter to see how they fit together.
| dblack50 chapter 4 . 12/22/2008
Setting up some more conflict, huh? This should make things very interesting in the next few chapters. I'm eager to see how Whitney adjusts along with the family.
I'm still enjoying this story very much. I know you've said it needs editing, and I do see evidence of that from time to time, but so far it does not distract from the story for me. It's a very interesting idea that you've come up with, nothing I've heard of before and I've read a lot of Beverly Lewis. LOL
| dblack50 chapter 3 . 12/20/2008
This chapter really starts to pick things up a bit. I can tell there's a lot we don't know about Whitney's past that will come into play over the course of the story. She's definitely not a one dimensional character!
I noticed a few spelling errors (is instead of it) but it didn't distract from the story. I could easily read through them without needing to figure out what you meant.
| Ashlys chapter 10 . 12/18/2008
Your imagery was perfect! I really felt like I was in Little House on the Prairie...and I can't wait to see if Whitney will poison anyone with her cooking in the dinner to come! Will there be upcoming scenes in which we get to learn more about Connor and his family?
| dblack50 chapter 1 . 12/18/2008
I really enjoyed reading this first chapter. I think it sets the story up well but doesn't give too much away. The tension between Whitney and her father is introduced. We still have no idea how her dream ends, but it does create questions in the reader's mind that will keep them reading. It worked for me at least. :-) I'm looking forward to reading more and finding out not only how Whitney comes up with her new thesis but how her research works out.
| Madame Y chapter 10 . 12/18/2008
Good writing! As far as I can see, there aren't any problems with your grammar and word usage. However, I would recommend that in your dialogue, you don't always have to attach an action to each phrase. for example,
“Well, I…” Whitney struggled to come up with an explanation that would appease him but with no avail.
“Actually it was my idea, Papa,” [Bethany replied, cutting in before Whitney could make a fool of herself further.]
Mr. Kessler raised a brow, giving his eldest daughter a questioning glance. “What made you think of that? I believe Mrs. Sadler has enough on her plate without having to have a college Englisher breathing down her neck while she lectures…”
In this case, you can remove the parts in [ ] because I think they weren't too necessary and might even disrupt the flow. Generally, readers can deduce things from the dialogue, so unless there's a significant action that comes with it, you don't necessarily have to mention what the characters are doing at that exact moment.
I liked the parts about Connor... I think he has potential to be a great influence in Whitney's life.
Good job overall. You seem to know alot about the pioneer setting, letting the events slowly unfold. Personally I think it's a little slow, because the dialogue and actions go into so much detail, but that's just my interpretation. Perhaps you could add more description, metaphors, similies, etc. to spice it up.
| improvisationallychallenged chapter 1 . 12/17/2008
For the review game:
Introductory chapters are always hard, and while this starts a little slow, it really takes off once it passes the halfway mark.
The dialogue here is very good. It moves the narrative along, and is easier to digest than the big chunks of prose (not that the prose is in anyway bad. A couple of sentences need reviewing and trimming to aid the flow, but the content of it is good)
I also like the tension you have set up between Whitney and her father. The use of the dream, and the bold statements of her reluctance to contact him towards the end of the chapter set up the conflict very effectively, and works well as a hook for the reader.
A small, tiny niggle that I have is your use of the word 'unapproval' when describing a teacher's reaction to Whitney's tardiness - shouldn't that be 'disapproval'? (I make up words on a regular basis, and if unapproval is actually correct, please feel free to ignore me)
Overall, an interesting, enjoyable read that leaves me wanting to read on (only I won't right now, because its actually past my bedtime...)