|Reviews for A Plain Summer|
| Maida chapter 10 . 12/16/2008
Well your story has potential, but it's in need of some serious editting. There are a consisent amout of mistakes which interfere with reading the story.
Also, while I do commend you on trying with German, it's clear the translater you used translates the words and not the meaning. I don't come from Germany, but my mother does, so a do have some understanding of the language.
'Sie sind willkommen' does, in its seperate parts mean 'you are welcome,' but if I were speaking, I would say 'bitte.' I'm not sure why, but all of my German family says it this way. Also, 'thankyou' is simply 'danke.'
| The Last Xu chapter 10 . 12/16/2008
I am a very picky reader, and the first thing I noticed was that you story contained quite a bit of grammatical errors. The sentences fail to flow properly because of them, and it makes it more difficult to continue reading.
I loved the abundance of dialogue. I personally love stories with dialogue, since it makes everything feel far more alive and personal, and less monotonous and narrative.
I like how you use active voice more than passive voice.
However, the dialogue sometimes makes me weary and look for descriptive or skillful narration to spice up the story. I was pretty disappointed when I found so few.
Basically, it wasn't too easy for me to read the chapter. The mood and tone of the story are not very exciting and don't capture my attention. I also can't see the character's personalities beneath their dialogue and actions, which makes them a bit boring. I mean they do have personalities, but they don't do anything very expressive. I don't know how to word this... well I'll just say it seems to me that your characters are rather rigid and are stuck into the story, when your characters are supposed to drive your story.
| princessarielle3 chapter 10 . 12/16/2008
OMG LOVED THIS CHAPTER! CONNOR IS SO CUTE
| ME chapter 10 . 12/16/2008
| Twist Their Emotions chapter 10 . 12/15/2008
Loved it! You are great with detail and have fantastic rhythm and balance. I don't have a single critique today. Good characterization and great plot development! This story definitely has me hooked!
| C.F. Anne chapter 5 . 12/15/2008
Wonderful chapter! XD Seriously. I do love it so far...very interseting. :) I can't read the rest, but I do hope that these five reviews have made up for how long it took me to get to reading this...*hugs* forgive me?
| C.F. Anne chapter 4 . 12/15/2008
another splendid chapter...but then again, when do you not give a wonderful chapter? Great flow, and no problems with the length (honestly, you've kept a very good length for these chapters). XD *goes to the next one*
| C.F. Anne chapter 3 . 12/15/2008
ah, and the plot begins! hehe...it's great...really. XD I can see why you were so excited about this novel! :)
| C.F. Anne chapter 2 . 12/15/2008
I'm actually surprised how easily I finished this chapter! Really, the flow was good, and just enough detail. Again, I know, it's not the most exciting chapter, but I know that it will get there. You are always so good at building up the plot. :) Great Job!
| C.F. Anne chapter 1 . 12/15/2008
*waves* soo...surprised that I FINALLY reviewed? You know how big of a fan I am of your work...really, you doubt yourself too much. My stories really pale when compared to your work. seriously...XD Even if this chapter wasn't the most exciting chapter in the world, I already know it will get better, just as you promised, and I simply CAN'T WAIT to read the rest of the chapters.
| Ashlys chapter 9 . 12/15/2008
This story makes for effortless reading and I couldn't stop until I'd gobbled up all nine chapters!
Your subject matter is entirely fascinating. The traditions and lifestyle of these people I find amazing since we haven't many Amish communities in Australia. Where did you find out so much about them are you friends with an Amish family?
Again, your descriptions and writing is well done, and I can't wait till your next update!
| Catherine Abellanosa chapter 9 . 12/15/2008
It's been a long time since I've visited fictionpress and you're one of the authors I found who depicts a very good plot. I love the way everything fell into place. I admire the way you created your characters. They all have their own unique characteristics to them and I love learning more about them as the story progresses.
Keep it up!
| Freaks for Jesus chapter 9 . 12/10/2008
I thought that novels were evil in Amishland. And that faceless dolls were because of the commandment not to worship any other gods.
| Freaks for Jesus chapter 7 . 12/10/2008
do amish people say "idiot"? the names sound a bit english
| Freaks for Jesus chapter 5 . 12/10/2008
i forgot what i was going to say. oh yes. what about pennsylvania dutch?