Reviews for Sy:Tight Without
Aquafied chapter 1 . 11/28/2008
it has a tightness to it

that i can't place my finger on
Smoky Bear chapter 1 . 11/10/2008
this holds the drama of music. it even builds up word by word like a scale builds note by note. you've captured not only the emotional attachment and dependence upon music and how much it influences our lives. but also the idea of awkward aftermaths shows the internal turmoil of growing up and dealing with life, the two often go hand in hand and as concepts you've balanced them very well through the images of darkness against hissing guitars and emerald waterfalls. there's a sense of synesthesia in the arrangement, maybe it's down to it reminding of a scale, and in the images you've chosen:- particularly "stretched his music taut so the texture dripped of skill so blue". that skill of yours to hint at the core of the poem and then tell the details that surround it shines in this piece with the unresolved no.9 questions. could be that i'm swayed by the context, lol, but i thought this was excellent.
Nemonus chapter 1 . 10/30/2008
Good. I really like the description of the guitar "hissing", and the rhythm was very good, like a story. However, "only harsher,due to various influences." was a bit stiff and jarring.
Ernest Bloom chapter 1 . 10/30/2008
just as tight as you can make it...revolution number nine, i suppose. although it could also be a question about song sequencing. back in the days of vinly lps i noticed that the best song was almost always the first cut of side b, if the artist knew what he was doing.

the 'due to various influences' thing strikes me as strangely weak and inarticulate, perhaps reflecting his new-found interest and lack of concepts to convey his feelings...