One of my friends does have the ability to make apples explode when he touches them. We make fun of him for this. And no, we have not found a use for it. But when I was a kid I co-wrote a novel with a friend in which one of our characters used sharpened carrots as a weapon. . . . yeah. These are the things the chapter inspired me to remember.

Drabble prompt: Mary Janes, air matresses, and a broken lamp.

Livi

Fictionpress has been forbidding me so I've had to catch up as as when.

Micky is fun :) that whole staring at Finn's crotch scene had me giggling. He seems so innocent but then comes out with er Dolphin info (so glad I can't swim!) that makes you re-think that.

You said people don't comment on Ion? I like Ion but um don't comment much. Perhaps it's cause we're not seeing what he's thinking. Micky is puppy-like and Darcy is fairly simple so far silent and reaching, easier to like. Ion is older and theres more to him. I like seeing him and Jude together.

I really like this story, now to think up a drabble and stalk you to LJ ;)

A wonderful chapter, as usual. I'm getting more and more curious about Jude - is his asexuality just part of his personality, or was it caused by some incident (or series of incidents)? The fact that he's bothered by Ion screwing around with other people makes me think the latter, and that it's some form of self protection. It's frustrating as hell, but I like that you're making us wait :).

How old is Mikey? I tried to go reread to find out, but couldn't locate it. It's great that he's not bothered by Finn's interest, but very sad if he can't ever return it.

And no, I never needed to know that about dolphins :).

This is a very disjointed review... onwards!

I have no idea why, but for me Darcy steals every scene that he's in. I love that kid.

Ugh, never, ever again tell us about wildlife. Seriously. I knew they raped each other, but what kind of dolphin perversion do you have to have to go for humans?

If the drabbling mood is still on and isn't flooded with requests, how about Darcy and cats/kittens? ...or puppies if you have something against felines or Darcy has an ailurophobia.

I admit I didn't except much when I started reading this story yesterday (I was just bored out of my mind), but after three to four chapters I actually got interested enough in the characters (okay, only Jude...) and started to pay attention to what I was reading. I love the way Jude seems so normal - I mean he isn't a drama queen, he isn't flamboyantly gay, he isn't a broody "bad guy" or a hapless hero that has to be saved all the time (The moments he has to be rescued you have done well, realistically - considering that he can't exactly be expected to have a lot of experience in fighting demons - and without making him seem annoying, OOC or clingy).

I also really like the way Ion and Jude's relationship develops, slowly but surely. They are really cute and awkward together, and nice contrast to fictional couples who get together instantly after first laying eyes on each other. I keep picturing them sitting on Jude's bed in the dark, back to back at appr. one foot distance of each other, resolutely not thinking of each other while a small violet heart flutters above their heads... Squeel? :D

I understand that Jude being the narrator, erm, narrows your options down somewhat and that technically Mikey being able to hide any negative feelings isn't implausible in the least, but can't help but feel that you are wasting great potential by not paying more attention to Mikey's problems. Not seeing people and knowing that those people still are there and see and can touch you must be... well, I wouldn't wish that to even my worst enemy.

This is not constructive criticism, but I thought it might interest you, in a wtf-is-this-for-real kind of way: I expected someone to betray Jude and the Co during their little mutiny (it went too well to be called anything but "little") and placed my bets on Wiley. I'm assuming that he actually is one of the "good" guys, but it doesn't change the fact that if Jude found out in the next chapter that he likes raping bunny rabbits and organizing genocides, I wouldn't be surprised in the least. He just makes me suspect him of practically any crime under the sun. I'm not sure why... maybe it's the name?

Sorry for rambling a lot. I guess I should have given the chapters individual reviews, but I'm terrible at commenting others' stories and would have lost my courage, so... you get one longer, rambling-filled review?

Dolphins really do that? That is incredibly disturbing.

My mind started bleeding too. D:

i want a story where ion is told not to be such a bitch. please to be writing that now. failing that, death. ion death.

god why do i hate him so much why

signed,

the only one who actually dislikes ion aka petra

p.s. i like how you are whoring out your writing skillz, it brings a tear of pride to my eye. now just ask people to donate money/food/sex.

oh lordy. "when i sit on his lap..." that's AWKWARD. and absolutely hilarious, in an evil way. and the DOLPHINS. i've no idea why, but i think i've heard of that before, and it scares the crap outta me. why, potatoe, why. and the fruit! the genius of this chapter is making my head spin. 100% awesome. D

mikey bunnies ferrets ktties.

...

i is insane

Well, you are at fault for why I just read an article on sexual behavior amoung animals. Also, if you think dolphins are wierd go look up Bonobos (or don't depending on your mood). My brian is going to have lots of wierd images for the next few days.

It's like 1am, and I'm not finished reading yet, but I totally need to stop stalking your journal/story and sleep.

I would add you to my favourites/alerts, but my fear of being stalked back (purely because my profile is full of goddawful drivel I wrote back in high school which I haven't got around to deleting yet) means I'm reviewing anonymously. But I'm not from anywhere interesting (like France) so yeah...

Story review now... I love the plot, its just... awesome. At places it feels like it could do with some padding out, but obviously this being a nano fic, that is to be a given. Some of the characters leap out of the page more than others, I'm loving Darcy atm. Um... my brain is too tired to form any more coherent sentences, but yeah... I love this, and I will be back to read the rest soon...

Ion lifted a hand at Finn in greeting, and then turned to me. “Come back to bed.”

OH MY GOD THE MENTAL IMAGES I LOVE YOU.

i has a happy

I am very glad for Mikey and Finn. This works better than being bitten. The toaster part made me laugh. Though, I do know someone seriously afraid of goldfish. I like Ion and think that any and all Ion should be included. (Not that I have any say in the matter).

YAY!

two good chapters.

Sorry I'm a lame ass who has been lazy on the reading.

I'll be better from now on.

Promise.

:]

xoxoxox,

Ty