|Reviews for Light Play|
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 8/15/2009
This is absolutely STUNNING, you have some really great phrases in here.
"Candle like fingers" is brilliant.
"Stretching out as waves across the sun-tanned sands"
and I like that you continued with the ocean/beach comparison, if you will, when you said "whisper in the shell of an ear."
This is really beautiful. And reading your author's note made it even more meaningful to know that you were writing about a picture of your sister.
| drops of rain chapter 1 . 7/10/2009
Beautiful. As I'm sure your sister is. :D
| Isca chapter 1 . 6/1/2009
"Hitting her like shooting stars in black night." Only a being of grandeur deserves to have the stars shine and explode for them-your sister must have a special place in your heart. :)
| Tekla chapter 1 . 4/3/2009
Wow, you really have an awesome way with words. Your descriptions are amazing and describe things I never thought to put in that way before. A gift, I tell you!
In the third stanza, however, I find "softly, gently" as a bit repetitive. Judgment call, though I would maybe try to find a synonym to gently but still have it relate to softly. Maybe?
Also, "It" in the beginning of the same stanza is to vague. Clarify, perhaps.
-April Fool Contest Review
| 12345DoesNotExist chapter 1 . 1/24/2009
Wow. Okay, one moment... Wow.
Your imagery is amazing, for one thing. It really makes this poem grow out of the page and come to life. I love how you take such an insignificant moment that you'd likely glaze over in life, and enlarge it to this beautiful picture. Wowzers.
There's nothing I see that I don't like. Your poem here, is fantastic.
| Carus chapter 1 . 1/2/2009
There is amazing description here. I lovelovelove the word choice and the imagery that's produced because of it.
I also liked that it was all in one stanza, which is strange for me but I think it worked well. I suppose because it ties together the way that it's a description of a person, despite there being many sub-descriptions in with it.
Well done :)
| dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 12/31/2008
Very beutiful poem. The fact that you can take such a short moment in time and describe it so beutiful makes me envy your abilities.
I love the analogies you brought up. They're so descriptive and creative.
My favorite line: [Stretching out as waves across the sun-tanned sands] Simply beautiful.
It could just be me, but I didn't quite like the way you punctuated this (well, not really the punctuation itself, but the sentennce structure in general). It feels kind of rambly and flowy, which contrasts a lot of what you mention in the poem. It reads nicely, but it just doesn't seem to fit the subject.
Lovely poem, though. And happy New Year! :D
| East-0f-Eden chapter 1 . 12/29/2008
it's very pretty. your sister must be a lovely woman.
| Written chapter 1 . 12/1/2008
i used to be really big on poetry (dont write it anymore, but still read it now and then). i have to say, this is my favorite type of poem. it just captures a moment and makes it explosive; unforgettable. love it. your imagery is fanTASTIC. the line about shooting stars is my favorite :)
| Time To Change chapter 1 . 11/2/2008
Sweetly endearing. Particularly the inspiration. I enjoyed your use of imagery and the eloquence.