Love your story! Can't wait for the next part.

Oh, and Red is awesome! :)

Neat!

At first, I didn't like it because there was no dialogue, but it's fast growing on me. The quick changes of POV help a lot. You've an interesting style. I like it.

I like your characters, too. Red is cool, and I like the helpless-but-learning thing you have going on with Quina. I have such a hard time writing girls. Either they're too weak and get annoying, or they're too strong, and get even more annoying. Bravo for figuring out a way past it!

I would definitely go back and proofread after NaNoWriMo is over (I know you won't be doing any editing till then). Really, There's not too much I would change. Just a few places with unclear pronoun use, and a few typos.

Best of luck with NaNo, and looking forward to the next chapter!

You're such a terrible person, get the kicks out of torturing poor Quina! I'm joking... not... no really. I really do feel sorry for her, and poor helpless Red. Give him a hug for me. Good luck with the next chapter.

Interesting, I feel so bad for her... she's so beat up and helpless... she's weaker than some weak animal, no wonder Red feels guilty. I would too. Can't wait for the next chapter.

hey!

wow, I find it pretty hard to believe that this is without any corrections/edits etc. It's kinda amazing D I really want to see what happens, please keep updating :)

Nice story, I really like it. I think the description is kind of excessive thou, I mean' it's all just paragraph after paragraph of description. I hope she learns to speak soon, so there can be more dialogue. Red does sound nice .