Reviews for Make Believe
platinum-rose chapter 19 . 5/5/2012
Please continue/finish this story I really need to know what happens!
platinum-rose chapter 14 . 5/5/2012
HOW COULD SHE DO THAT? How could she snub Jess like that? He's been there for her GRRR!
crypticxdreamer chapter 19 . 6/26/2011
Love it. So excited to see what happens next :)
Guest chapter 18 . 6/12/2011
wen r u planning on posting the next may not kno dis but i'm literally dying 2 kno wat happns next
InquisitiveBookWorm chapter 18 . 5/19/2011
Please please please update! Im like in love with this story. I wanna know what happens next! :)
XshadowxdemonX chapter 9 . 4/10/2011
I very strongly dislike David, because Emo people are awsome, and a lot of the time, the most caring people that you will ever meet (I'm not insulting you, just the character) so there for, David, you are a dumb ass.
crypticxdreamer chapter 18 . 4/10/2011
Im really enjoying this story so far. The chemistry b/w Hayden and Jess is undeniable. I am dying to see what happens next! I can see your writing and story development improve with each additional chapter, brava!

When you go to re-edit this story, I have a couple of suggestions:

1) I would like to see more development between David's and Haydens relationship in the beginning, to see how important her relationship with him is. They dont have too many scenes together, and the development of the relationship seems rushed- I dont see the connection/chemistry that I know is supposed to be there.

2) I would also recommend elaborating a little more on the Jess/Hayden story. Maybe have him antagonize her more in the beginning? This relationship has also seemed to move fast(and for this I mean just how he went from not talking to her, but he would stare at her, one or two instances of antagonizing, and then they are friends? Missing some sort of connection here). Also, it may help to make the Jess/Amelia relationship more clear, I was a little confused, but you may be leading up to that based on what Ive read in Ch 18

3) my only other suggestion is, is that I dont think you need the diary excerpts. The story is fantastic without them, i find them more distracting.

Overall, I have a hard time finding stories on fictionpress that really catch my attention, and I was drawn to your story from the very beginning! Update -very- soon! :)
freebird1490 chapter 18 . 4/10/2011
Too lazy to sign in lol. But great chapter. I'm glad you decided to update!
tracy2016uk chapter 17 . 3/27/2011
i feel like your personal cheerleader (even though we dont have those over here) but im glad i pushed you to write another chaper :p

it wasnt as long as the others and once again u got me hanging on to the cliff :( but i can see the next step gr how dare jess be with some1 else? meh im not liking him right now :p please dont wait months for the next 1 :p
Summer Harrison chapter 17 . 3/13/2011
Lucy Freebird chapter 17 . 3/12/2011
Geez it seems like forever since you've updated lol. It was worth the wait though. Loved the chapter and love the shout-out. I am once again captivated by this story. Who is this babe?
afrida chapter 16 . 1/19/2011
I really liked ure story and finished reading till the end almost in one day...plz upload more chapters..i'm dying 2 kno wat happens next!:)
Lucy Freebird chapter 16 . 10/9/2010
I've spent all day reading your story and its awesome. Update soon!
DayDreamer457 chapter 10 . 8/22/2010
Nancy and Morgan should remember the saying "Chicks before dicks" and they should all just forget about David.
tracy2016uk chapter 15 . 12/18/2009
i agree with what you said, its about time! i really liked this chapter, oh and the cd thing was so cute
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