I like it so far, but I'm not really quite sure what's going on. Add new chapters soon to make up for it? I'd like to see this continued :)

Just a query, with the Liam part you start off: "He fucking needs a cigarette." but the rest of it is in past tense not present - was that intentional?

Most of the Liam part at first is past tense, but then you switch to present here (from 2nd sentence on):

"From the door on the right a person stepped out. He thinks he remembers reading Dr. Whitman on the door."

and a bit more switching between tenses here: "But he watched the only part of her he could see and he thinks maybe she is full of bravado."

Anyway, moving on from the nitpickiness - I really love this story so far - I love your humour. This sentence was cute: "He wondered if it would be rude to ask for a cigarette. It’s not like he was gonna ask for some whiskey." Hehe.

You have a great writing style and I really like your characters - your first chapter made me want to read on, fo' sho'! ;)

This is great! I skimmed through the last part because I have to go, but I really like your writing style. I'll come back and read it in full when I have time.

Wow - seriously, wow. This is absolutley amazing and I honestly cannot wait to read more. This is one of the best peices of writing I've read on here. You can describe a scene and the characters so well, I feel like I've already known them for years. I love it.

:)

this was really, painfully, good.

nice change from all the other "omgah, i

Oh, this is such an interesting beginning! And their emotions are so clearly displayed, but not overly so. Just in the perfect way. :D Can't wait for more.

-Char.

I love love love love love (x10) this. Really, I do. You have a really good flow to your words and your writing changes to fit each character in a way that works,but ( so far) fits the story and yeah...this is just really well written.

I would suggest doing one more read through before you post it- there are a couple mistakes, I wouldn't call them grammar issues so much as typos. It's not much but it does take away from your writing which truly is worth reading.

well done.

Interesting and different start. I like it. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

This is very well written; I'm looking forward to the next chapter.