Reviews for Two Layers
WretchedLust chapter 1 . 11/6/2012
I've got to say, based on the title and description I expected something way different. But this was very well written. I love the use of italics to emphasize "amazing" and "please" as two very important words in the piece.
Carus chapter 1 . 12/27/2008
I'm not sure whether or not I like the story-type style you have here. On the one hand, it could work without being poetry but then on the other, it couldn't because it's too short. I don't know, I guess I couldn't really feel the poetry here.

I liked the italicised words. I think that they really added to the meaning and sensuality of this poem.

The punctuation in the last stanza threw me off slightly. I think perhaps after 'we' you could replace the '.' with a comma, but then that's probably just personal preference.

Good poem overall, though.

fivesandsevens chapter 1 . 12/16/2008
Captivating! I am addicted to your work.

Could you kill your friends chapter 1 . 11/14/2008
I'm going to agree and disagree with naked geese reunion. The punctuation did make the piece falter a bit,but not so bad to completely do away ,I feel that subtle messages can be achieved beautifully with italics,and I felt the words you did italicize were ,the word lithe is completely acceptable in the context in which it was that said,i rather enjoyed this job.
Yes chapter 1 . 11/11/2008
This is really soft.

Teasing in a way.

I like it.
pixy dust and fairytales chapter 1 . 11/11/2008
oo, good job. I liked it :) Keep it up!

Naked Geese Reunion chapter 1 . 11/11/2008
Loved it at some points, liked it at others. The basis is sheer perfection; I love what you did with the color of the undergarments, and the sensuality projected in various areas ("spine between her shoulder blades") makes it.

Your punctuation throws me way off; very rarely are you producing your art in complete sentences, so I feel just doing away with the periods would greatly improve the flow. You misused lithe, but it retained clarity. Curious as to why you chose to italicize the words you did; I like to use derivations like that to tell a subliminal story: "something", "hidden", "real", perhaps?

Nitpicking aside, wonderful entry.