|Reviews for I Do Believe in Fairies|
| Solemn Coyote chapter 24 . 9/4/2010
1) Bit of a jump in between this chapter and the last, but only because all the other chapters have been pretty tightly in sequence.
2) "Don't worry about him, Wendy. We'll fight that codfish and get back…whatsisname." That line is perfectly Peter.
3) "frowned, and tossed it to Wendt" Wendy. Wendt sounds like...a German cake?
4) I've been reading a bit of the original Peter Pan lately, and it's making me wonder if maybe the glamour in this story isn't magic. Peter's ability to make-believe is just so potent that it briefly terraforms reality.
5) "OH no…" surplus caps? It does kinda work.
6) Peter becomes a really interesting character when he's challenged. It's a miracle he didn't kill anyone, though.
7) Well, this chapter managed to make Peter sympathetic. Therefore, according to the code of such romances, Jon's probably going to make himself unsympathetic next chapter. I'm sorta hoping this won't happen, but that's mostly because I just finished reading Mockingjay and the high-speed ping-pong of affection in that novel practically gave me whiplash. :p
| Solemn Coyote chapter 23 . 6/22/2010
Hey, so you should post all those other chapters you've stockpiled. It would totally be for the greater good.
1) You just keep making Lilly more awesome. Seriously. I love her family.
2) "Erzebet (which was a fabulous name, and Wendy mentally filed it away for future use on a character)" I still like the meta that having a writer character brings into the story.
3) "I don't remember seeing him with any other girls – except, of course, that fairy of his." And people wonder why all the peter pan fanfic is slash...
4) "I wouldn't be surprised to find out he was quite the ladies' man before you got here," Huh. I'm actually picturing him as exactly the opposite, a sad little dreamer in an unkind house.
5) I kind of liked all the exposition here. It was very much due, and it sets up so much more potential plot that I don't mind having to plow through it. Tons of exposition is only really an issue when it resolves more tension than it creates.
| Kyo-to-Key chapter 2 . 4/24/2010
this is great! love it!
| Solemn Coyote chapter 22 . 12/30/2009
Your friend is entirely right. I don't want to say that Tribe is Star-Wars-prequels-bad, but...it could be a lot better without even being good. Personally, I like terrible movies, but I would recommend something like Mammoth over Tribe any day of the week.
1) I'd kind of been hoping that Belle might somehow rescue Wendy (because that would prompt character development like whoah,) but Lilly is equally awesome.
2) "She’d found it too hard to watch, mostly because most of the scenes had looked like this, with the camera zooming in and fading out, and zooming out again, and then jumping up and down..." I'm assuming that's a stealthy Twilight reference, which I fully approve of.
3) Lilly may be the first genuinely sympathetic tenant of the neverland that Wendy gets to spend time with. I'm hoping this means plot development because, while the last couple of chapters have been great, they have been kind of reactive. Wendy hasn't exactly been perusing a goal. Rather, she's been trying to survive the neverland. And while that's great as an intro, it's over-arching goals that propel most longer narratives.
Granted, survival is sort of an over-arching goal.
| Solemn Coyote chapter 21 . 12/25/2009
This is just as excellent as I remember it.
I love that Cindermelly gets reintroduced to the story, and that Wendy is the one who takes on the name (I'd gotten sort of the impression that Melly was a self-insert character for Wendy, so that makes this doubly awesome.) I like the line "Nearly dying twice in under forty-eight hours was one time too many." I had to re-read it twice before thinking "but once is okay?" Her character is just seven kinds of amazing.
Also, you're a fan of Lost Boys? Best/worst vampire movie ever! (Well, I'll also conditionally consider Twilight for that title...)
| Ziribella West chapter 22 . 12/21/2009
LOL. I love Lily. I DO want to learn more about her story.
| Layla the fiend chapter 2 . 12/18/2009
Holy crap, I'm only the second chapter in and I love it!
| Ziribella West chapter 21 . 7/18/2009
I'm just giggling at your post script. LOL.
Nice chapter, I'm interested to see if Wendy actually gets to leave at some point!
| Solemn Coyote chapter 20 . 6/29/2009
Sorry it took me so long to get back to this. Here's a review.
1) "in full and brilliant flower, or reaching like clawed fingers to scrape at the sky" No comma in there
2) "One even had a light dangling from the top of her head, like a deep-sea fish," That's fantastic. She's easily my favorite mermaid ever.
3) "Besides, she’s the one who brought me here." And that explains a lot. I wonder who brought her in.
4) "Sligthly’s brow creased. “ ‘Voracious’?”
“Starving. It’s not important.”" As always, your dialogue is spot on.
| Ziribella West chapter 20 . 6/19/2009
I love the way you described the mermaids. Painting Peter as something who is intensely interested in you one second and forgets you the next is great.
| Ziribella West chapter 19 . 5/27/2009
Very nice. I like that Wendy is able to shake off Peter's Glamour!
| The-Chloe chapter 19 . 5/27/2009
Geez E, I love your Peter! Yay for darker faeries! Use of Glamour is noted and very well put in. Again, you amaze me, and I can't wait to read more of this!
| Ziribella West chapter 18 . 5/7/2009
Poor Inspiration! Mine was hijacked too. I'm glad you got him back though and with such an excellent chapter! I really enjoyed the by-play with Hook and Belle.
| Solemn Coyote chapter 17 . 4/27/2009
1)Great explanation for Smee's name.
2)"It must be all the night raids, that made him more accustomed to sleeping in the daylight." Doesn't need a comma. Also, Hook is so a vampire.
3)Personal theory: hook's crew is composed entirely of former lost boys. People who got lured into Neverland, probably by Peter, and then got stuck there when he lost interest in them.
4)Hook has a thing for bell? That's fantastic.
5)“Destroy Pater, and the neverland city is ours. Then we can drive out those ridiculous gypsies and introduce the elves to the concept of extinction. And then, gentlemen, the neverland and all its spoils belong to us.” Peter. Minor typo
6)This continues to get better and better. I'm looking forward to the next installment.
| Solemn Coyote chapter 16 . 4/27/2009
Sorry it took me so long to get back to this. Ficpress has been kind of freaking out for me lately. It keeps insisting that access to the site is forbidden, which is totally it playing silly hobbitses with me, but it still prevents me from reading stuff on a reliable basis. Hopefully, like every other mysterious and flagrant site problem, this will resolve itself in a week or so.
1)Great break into the new chapter. I would consider doing this section all in Italics just a separate it from the rest of the story and reassure the reader that there's a reason for this change of style, but that's not strictly necessary.
2)Interesting trick with the whole unnamed "eye of narration"