Wait a sec...wasn't this once called Sixteen? I'm confused. PLEASE UPDATE! I LOVE THIS!

That was really interesting you should keep writing it.

(laugh) that scene doesn't remind me of anything!

(sniffel) Poor girl

...creepy Nale (back away)

"two; high pigtails" extra semicolon.

Boy, Jessica really got angry.

Thinking about skin color (or ant superficial thing) during stressful situations seems real to me. The whole picture in all its horror is too much to grasp, so we concentrate on the unimportant.

If you wrote more, I'd read it.

"they 1weren’t exactly."

Two extra 1s in here. The other is at the bottom of the page.

How does Jessica know that other fourteen year old think about dating and earrings? Is Amber town the only place that collects them or is she comparing herself with old stories?

The collection must not have been happening for too long, or else there would be any adults to have teenagers.

"the sent of the demons." Scent.

I feel sorry for Nale.

some advise.

#1 You have the prologue, chapter 1 & 2 all on this. I think you should edit it so that the Chapters can be evenly so people won't get confused. (I did this too w/ my RR)but I know that you want to keep your reviews, but it's better that way)

#2 If your going to use D* as a swear word, I suggest putting this into the T rated stuff. (I dunno way, I just think that because kids could get on here and read some pretty bad stuff)