|Reviews for If This Were a Fairytale|
| Serena chapter 2 . 12/18/2008
You might want to break some of these sentences up.
"When the little girl was eleven, her parents decided it would be best to divorce. Her mother was granted sole custody of the children, and while the girl’s sister, too young to realize what was happening, continued on as if nothing were wrong, she cried for days, willing her father to return and piece back together the life they had once had." The She towards the end is vague (I assume it refers to the "little girl" / first sister but I'm just saying.)
And it's also confusing when you say that the little girl screamed and cried yet she never complained? That's contradicting. I get what you're trying to say but I think this needs slight revision.
| WithoutException chapter 7 . 12/17/2008
Okay, so I just finished exams, and I'm kind of brain-dead, which is my excuse for the lame reviewing.
I like this story! The blindness is an interesting twist.
And Finley is a very cool name.
| FarFromGrace chapter 7 . 12/16/2008
Haha, I love the idea of the new character Max being her fairy godmother. I like him already.
And wow, Ellie really is a bitch. 'Mean girls' should really take lessons from her.
| LifeinTechnicolor chapter 7 . 12/15/2008
Faerie God-Nerd...Aha, that is fantastic.
I'm loving this story, and the characters. Max, I can already tell, is going to be one of my favorite characters, and it's sort of interesting, that because Finley is blind, from her perspective other characters descriptions are vague, and. . . I have no idea how to word what I'm trying to say XD. I just like that the apparent lack of description helps you to focus on other aspects of the character, and gives you a certain freedom when reading about them.
Also, Finley's siblings are adorable. ] Looking forward to the next chapter.
| Faith Adeline chapter 7 . 12/15/2008
Aw, poor Finley! Ellie is such a bitch, lol. Someone should...switch her shampoo with nair. Hahaha. Great job, I loved the chapter. Max seems like a very...eclectic character. Me thinks I could like him :) Keep it up and update soon!
| toffeecakesxox chapter 7 . 12/14/2008
:) Camden and Max (I LOVE him!) to the rescue! Evil stepsister/s. I do like Toby though; he's funny. XD
Loved the ending of this chapter too, :D SO CUTE! :D
| HelloLovely chapter 7 . 12/14/2008
Hey! Yes, I was talking about His Eyes. It was so great. She's looking to get it published, so maybe one day you will be able to read it. Looking forward to the next chapter of this...and I hate Ellie. :]
| argentine.kid chapter 7 . 12/14/2008
aww i like this story and i hope to see more of max. he seems like a funny kid D
| I Quoth Nevermore chapter 7 . 12/13/2008
Oh it's so good! Ellie is a B on wheels, let me tell you. Ugh. And so crass too. But Maxwell Hues saved the day! I like him, he's a cool cat. But unfortunately he doesn't get along with my man Cam, but hopefully they'll get over themselves. And great idea-having him come over instead of out on a date. That's just precious. And I just want to point out that this is totally realistic, so props to you, mate. Well, good luck on the rest of your finals and update soon!
| scattered-strings chapter 7 . 12/13/2008
I didn't think people could be that bad.
I have a feeling that I'm going to see more of Max. And a date, how cute.
| elleith chapter 7 . 12/13/2008
Max is the perfect nerd, I love him. :] I wonder what will pose as cindella's 'ball'.
| Sarahj259 chapter 7 . 12/13/2008
great Chapterness! Good job!
| righthere431 chapter 7 . 12/13/2008
ah! hate Ellie so much! But I'm glad that Toby was nice and they're going to see each other this weekend!
| Foxy Walnut chapter 7 . 12/13/2008
I keep trying to make time to review this, but I always end up forgetting. So I'm going to do it right now, no distractions. I hope. Except for my persuasive essay on intelligent design. (Here's a tip: Never ever choose "Is Intelligent Design a Credible Alternative Explanation for Evolutionism?" as your topic, it's SO boring.)
And apparently a bazillion people decided to text me at once. SO that's a bit distracting. I'll keep this short.
I still adore your story, it's so interesting and not cliche! I get the feeling when Camden comes over, her sibs are going to love him. Or her mother's going to show up anyways...it's hard to say. But seriously, I really do have to go research...so I'll try to review better later!
| gulistala chapter 7 . 12/13/2008
Oh wowy, two more people who are actually nice! Toby seems like a real good character, haha. Bit inappropriate at times, but not too much to make you uncomfortable. Methinks. Well well, so Camden is romantically interested in our Finley. Hm. Let's see how it goes.