|Reviews for Mystos: A New Game|
| BazCoventryJetz chapter 1 . 12/6/2008
Ok, not a valiant dawning on the story.
It seemed that the main context of the story was speech which was all used within certain basic vocabulary. Every single activity seems rushed into because of the lack of description and metophoric irony. Although you have used a very poor choice of literating I feel your idea of sudden action at the peak of the story was a good idea.
To improve upon this story I'd give a ratio of your context to speech of 5:1. Also use some metophores and similies to give some creative illusions upon the audience; Onomatapia wouldn't make a great establishment to your story so if I were you I'd leave that to a bare minimum. Not much I can really advise other than that because this story has made you out to seem like quite a basic and amature writer.
Sorry if this gives off any bad feeling; This review has been based upon your story and not your peronality so i hope no offensive is carried with this. Please be sure to check out my newupcoming story which will be called Ultimate Supremacy.
| Echeos chapter 1 . 11/21/2008
Do you plan on making an rp or something?