|Reviews for The Wielding|
| Narc chapter 2 . 12/22/2008
Good description of the prison scene. Interesting to name your fantasy prison after a real one. It's a little strange that they're offering her this important mission without any sort of discussion first, but I guess they noticed her talent at the hanging scene.
| Narc chapter 1 . 12/22/2008
That was a really great beginning! No clue what the backstory is yet, but that's just fine. It makes me want to read on to find out more about Ris and Crispin. And it was still clear what was going on in the scene.
Hey, and no problem at all about the what song you were listening to. I stole that idea from what people like to do on livejournal. :)
| Equilibrium chapter 1 . 11/24/2008
Wow! I'm really impressed. Particularly because your first chapter deviated completely away from the cliched successful rescue attempt (which are seen on FP so often that it makes one sick), and turned it instead into something attention-grabbing and poignant. Lovely start! I'll definitely have to read the rest of it now - when I have the time, that is.
Keep up the good work!
| S.O.K.W.O chapter 1 . 11/22/2008
it's not an information over load and it wasn't confusing at all. I very much enjoied the story. It sounds like the way i would start one of my own; throw the reader in and let them sort everything out as they go.
| inkspatters chapter 1 . 11/22/2008
Review Marathon! Link in my profile!
You're right, there is too much going on here, but at the same time, your piece has a wonderful narrative drive. It's action packed and the reader moves through the piece easily. Your descriptions are strong and simple, so that's another plus for you.
I also feel that you have an interesting premise, so hopefully, you can tell a great story :D My advice would be to work on pace, so that everything's not happening too fast. It can get a little confusing otherwise.
Good job, though,