|Reviews for who am i?|
| hide your eyes chapter 1 . 11/29/2008
as always, this really speaks to me because it could be about myself and my life. i like the sort of disjointed feeling it has, like a train of thought, and that made it all the more powerful when i paused and let certain lines soak in. i loved "i don’t remember the last time i cried, but i think it might have been yesterday." it was so blunt and matter-of-fact and true.
| all you need is oxygen chapter 1 . 11/24/2008
this is interesting. i wouldn't call it angst, but it's your personal choice.
"i don't remember the last time i cried, but i think it might have been yesterday" is a very powerful sentence.
| fairytale failure chapter 1 . 11/23/2008
very powerful - I really like the first and third stanzas, they were so creative. I also like how 'sometimes i can feel my soul dying' and 'i can write more than i can say' have their own stanzas, as it makes those lines stand out a lot more. I can definitely relate to the second stanza...I hate when one line of the stanza becomes a lot longer than the other ones P
| deefective chapter 1 . 11/23/2008
Ooh, I really love the way you wrote this. It had the feel of rambling thoughts but at the same time a philosophical epiphany. But, I found that that last little line there,
[so. who am i?]
was not needed. It seemed out of place with the rest of the piece and it didn't really fit the flow. Other than that, nicely done.
-Dee, from the Review Marathon.
[Link's in my profile.]
| Carus chapter 1 . 11/23/2008
I can so relate to this. This is a really powerful and raw poem - I could really feel the emotion in it as I was reading. One question - what's 'the SA'? (I'm guessing the ED is eating disorder).
But my favourite stanzas in this are the first and second. The first, because I've written a poem about covering up and hiding, and also because it's such a good beginning for the poem. The second, because it's another technique I've done before in a short story - writing about writing. I think it's a good way to get your thoughts across. I also found it interesting that you write that you don't like it when the lines don't line up, but you have no capitalisation (which I think is deliberate, right?) except with 'the SA, the ED'.
In regards to the question at the end - I don't believe that anyone can be put into a box labeled with who they are. I think that people are made up of many different things that all merge together to make something unique, with the end result being a person.
I love this poem because it really made me think.
| Isca chapter 1 . 11/23/2008
"I just like to hide myself." Very powerful, and sad!
"Sometimes I can feel my soul dying." BAM! That's what the line feels like. It's slaps you in the face. (That's a GOOD thing!) :D
| rust phoenix chapter 1 . 11/23/2008
i think this is one of your best poems in this style. very open and confessional, without being melodramatic. i really like the look of this poem, with the stanzas and single lines by themselves. it feels right for the content.
i can relate to a lot of this. not all the specific situations, but the overall feeling is definitely familiar. the ending sums it up so perfectly.
*hugs* keep writing. i hope things get less confusing for you.