Reviews for First Date
moongazer7 chapter 1 . 12/14/2008
Hello Debbo Kakashi

For the most part, it was fine. I like that attitude about that man. Some people are truly like that.

“Don’t be late.”

Was a bit abrupt. Perhaps you could add another word or a few such as


I’d be glad too.

Oh, okay

Wow, you want to go out with me?

Sure, why not.

Thanks, Yes, I’ll go out with you.

It will make your story flow, and so you can improve your writing if you take this suggestion.

Top Jimmy chapter 1 . 11/27/2008
I thought this story was lame, bro. It was full of errors. Also, it was too unreal. It's too wonderful and happy. In real life, it would've been more like "I have a boyfriend" and then everyone in the workplace would call him "Blank Shootin Bill" instead of alexander. Did i spell that right? huh, maybe I'm going to be the one making all the errors. Well, try harder next time

P.S. don't send me a message telling me how angry you are if you take any amount of offense to this review. Just bash my stories! it's fair, right?

well, good luck with that comp. Let's hope the other guys aren't as foolish as I am.
Winterblazewolf chapter 1 . 11/24/2008
Aww, that was sweet! And Joe was hilarious at the end. D Short and sweet! Nice one!