oh wow. I can't wait for the next chapter! :) please update soon! i want to know what's in store for brandon and emily. happy holidays! go CA! (that's just cause i'm kind of biased) lol.

I am really liking it. it has some good potential. Keep it up

Well, I'm from San Diego, but I go to CSU Northridge, which is outside of LA. And the only thing I really don't like is that I don't get the stereotypical dorm experience. Our dorms are lame and like full apartments for four, instead of two or three to a room. So that kind of sucks. But I like it enough.

My friend is at Fresno and loves it there.

It took me a while to remember who Brandon was, but once I did, I got it straight. I was just a little confused as to who he was and who Jeremy's roommate is- and who Trey is. They have three roommates? Or is Brandon someone else? Now I'm confused again...

And I realise that Emily's dad is divorced, but it was kind of odd how distant he was- and I think there's more than just the divorce prompting the separation. It can't be healthy for any of them.

And I got an A on my tea party paper. ] Anthropology is amazingly easy to BS. haha

that's a terrible way to break up with someone! jeremy's horrible. I did indeed enjoy this chappie too :-) cya next time ~ Alenor

oh california! i love it here. any school in particular, or just some random school in la/the valley/ca?

i'm supposed to be writing a 8 pg paper about tea parties. and instead i'm reviewing this. i think this says a lot about me...

oh i want more! why's he breaking up with her, she too distracting for him? jeremy is a bit of a self absorbed guy by the looks of it. can't wait for more ~ Alenor

So, I'm avoiding writing a paper... so I'm going to point out any editing mistakes as I see them. See? I am too working...

“Bye,” we hung up as his red brick; nondescript dorm building came into view as I rounded the corner.

It should be: "Bye." We hung up as his red brick, nondescript dorm...

...My sparkling personality?” he flashed a charming grin at me as he held the door open.

... personality?" He flashed...

“It’s one of the girls on the third floor’s birthday.” Melissa answered, uninterested...

To begin with, awkward sentence structure. But... "birthday of one of the girls on the third floor," Melissa answered...

Yaay! Finally a college story! All I can ever find is high school, and, well, I've already been stuck there for four years. I don't really want to relieve it. I'm glad other authors are finally either, one, growing up and raising their characters, or, two, just new to the site and older in general.

But it annoys me when high school kids post college-age stories. It just doesn't work.

Okay, paper time. Yaay for this story!

sadly, that whole thing about dating through highschool & breaking up during university...its a reality for me. so i partially commend her for it, but also feel bad because i can feel it ending. i can feel it. *spooky psychic hand movements, for emphasis*

cookies for another chapter, as well as an extra platter because i just finished reading out of my hands. :3 cookies cookies cookies. because i know you like em :)

i really liked this first chapter, i hope to see more

Oo! Me likey, haha. No, really though, I like the way this story looks like it's going. Update soon!

aww i really liked it.

please update soon.

x