|Reviews for Heroes|
| scoreboards.on.bedposts chapter 1 . 11/30/2008
she's crazy if she doesn't realize how much she's missing out on not spending her time with you. she's at a bigger loss than she knows yet, but when she figures it out, be ready; she'll be coming crawling back.
| pixy dust and fairytales chapter 1 . 11/28/2008
I'm sorry :( Good poem, the emotion is very good in it. I liked the piece.
| mikey magee chapter 1 . 11/28/2008
This was a very nice poem.
Flow: The poem had a nice flow, but a few words make it seem chunky. I'd get rid of "Fucking" in the third line. I does add to the emotional pain, but it stops the flow of the words.
Stanzas: In terms of stanzas, they were very well placed. I can understand the way their arranged is to show the harsh and confusion after losing someone.
Descriptions: This is the poems weakness. Instead of using good concrete images, you go and use abstarctions ( such as sadness) to tell the reader how you feel. Instead why not use metaphors you make the feeling of sadness a little more identifiable and concrete. Example: "Her death was like a worm crawling through my stomach, eating away at everything."
Subject: The main subject of the poem was sweet, but a little cliche. When you write poetry based on emotions you need to give clear images and example t oshow how you feel. If not, than the poem will come off as "whiney"
But aside from those things, this was a very nice poem! I'm sorry to hear about your loss. God bless. Keep writing!
| the fishy chapter 1 . 11/25/2008
I'm so sorry for some people's stupidity... i wish there was something to be done about them, but one day i hope she comes around to realize what she doesnt have and what she really wants is you, and not what she is surrounding herself with now.
poetry wise, very heart felt, i can feel (as much as i can) the want and need of her, and great word choice.
| deletethisaccountplease9 chapter 1 . 11/25/2008
Beautiful, simply beautiful. I loved the sentiment, and whoever this person is she is lucky to have someone who cares that much.